Pro-life
A foetus has rights!
Adoption
A child in a contract they never signed!
What is being said here is that you as life, have rights, but only under the conditions that are dictated.
Adoptees can categorically state that living the life of adoption is extremely traumatic and far too much to handle even in adult years for reasons only they know all too intimately. Yes, there are some acceptions however adoption is rooted in trauma, literally. There is so much trauma that even if you were an adoptive parent, ignoring it DOES NOT make it disappear. Infant separation trauma happens, there is no denying that. It is a well-known fact that adoptees come with a lot of baggage… This “baggage” if not addressed can escalate and amplify over the course of an adoptee’s life, especially if their needs and issues are repeatedly ignored. Anxiety, Depression, PTDS, C-PTSD, Attachment issues, and more stem from the 7 core issues in adoption.
These are:
1. Loss
2. Rejection
3. Guilt and shame
4. Grief
5. Identity
6. Intimacy
7. Mastery/control
Let me spell this out, Adoptees have to deal with the loss of their biological mother their biological heritage, while coming to terms with being rejected by the mother after they spent 9 months in her womb listening to her heartbeat and her voice. So to say babies are a blank slate and don’t remember is a complete falsehood. From then on, any rejection is seen as a threat even the rejection from the adoptive family. So adoptees learn to comply at any cost, even falsely believing the narrative they should be grateful. This imposes guilt and shame on others while having to deal with their guilt and shame of not being good enough for their biological family. Grief ensues on a level no other human could possibly comprehend, it is multifaceted and multilayered which encompasses the loss of their first Identity to biology. The development of new their identity in their adoptive family is usually fragmented because they feel they cannot really be authentic in their identity for fear of rejection. This may cause attachment issues related to intimacy. Ultimately adoption corrupts the sense of self that there seems no safety at a core level which affects mastery and control an adoptee will have over and throughout their lives.
We do not do well with adaptability, flexibility, and neutrality in our life situations. Due to trauma, we lack the necessary skills needed to make adjustments in order to gain strength in coming to terms with our loss.
When words are being fed into adoptees’ mouths, when our feelings and boundaries are being ignored, we are further catapulted into our issues because we see that society can’t seem to acknowledge how traumatizing adoption really is. They would rather believe in the rainbow and unicorn sales pitch of the adoption industry to avoid facing the harsh truth that adoption is unquestionably flawed.
I’ve had hundreds even thousands of interactions with fellow adoptees where they say that they would have rather been aborted.
So, please realize that adoptees face issues, like most trauma sufferers.
Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.
Husband, Father, Son, Brother, Adoptee, Friend, Colleague, Mentor, Former Lecturer, Multimedia & Web Designer, Artist, Former Art Director, Human Rights Activist. Dedicated to lifting standards of ethics & morality by promoting truth and denouncing the Conservancy of inhumane ideologies.
Throughout my personal life and career, I have created, fostered and maintained strong meaningful relationships. Including Former students and fellow adoptees.
I’m a qualified multimedia lecturer with over 20 years of experience with a vision for colour therapy, energy healing and natural therapies. Facilitating intuition, idea generation via a range of creative conceptualisation, and brainstorming techniques to ensure strong and effective solutions.
I’m currently a committee member of Adoptee Rights Australia inc. which has established itself as the peak body to advocate for reform in adoption legislation, policy and services in all Government jurisdictions in Australia because the human rights and well-being of adopted persons should be restored, protected and promoted. Most importantly Adoptee Rights Australia seeks to raise public awareness of, and support for, reform of adoption legislation, policy, and services across Australia.
After all…
“We’re all just walking each other home.” – Ram Dass
This is very brave. I can relate. I am also an adoptee.
Thank you
Adoption is the ‘gift’ that goes on giving. As an adoptee recently diagnosed with CPTSD, I can relate to this article. Separating mothers and babies is deeply traumatic to both, and that trauma can last a lifetime. For the adopted child, it can ruin any possibility of a normal, happy life. I’m sure it’s difficult for people who aren’t adopted to understand, and easy to write off adoptees as ingrates, but it’s the truth.
Thank you both for commenting. As an adoptee, I completely agree that adoption is not a gift. It is a traumatic experience for both the child and the birth mother. The system was purposely made this way to benefit the adoptive parents and agencies, rather than prioritizing family preservation.
I strongly support the two suggestions mentioned to ease the burden on adoptees and their mental health, including the issuance of Birth Certificates that state the correct relationship between guardians and birth parents, and ease of access to no-fault, no-fee discharges for failed adoptions. These changes can help prevent unnecessary trauma and provide adoptees with the right to know their biological family and heritage.
AdopteeVoices is an important platform that sheds light on the hidden abuses, denial, and societal silence surrounding adoption. The focus on family preservation, biological heritage and culture, and adoption trauma is essential to understanding the adoptee’s lived experience. It is crucial to address the human rights violations that adoptees face and to hold those accountable for their role in perpetuating these injustices.
We need to work towards creating a world where adoption practices are based on transparency, fairness, and respect for human rights. It is time to prioritize family preservation and support birth families to prevent unnecessary separations and trauma. Adoption should not be a solution to social issues, but rather a last resort when all other options have been exhausted.