The Superpowers of Complex Trauma (as published in The Friday Edition of HeartBalm Healing at https://heartbalm.substack.com)

Living with trauma has many facets and differing ways in which it forms and plays out in our lives. It can be a tightrope walk between trying to navigate a “normal” day and all that must be attended to alongside the chaos, triggers, trauma responses, and physical and nervous systems responses. The emotional roller coaster ride of despair confusion, anger, fear, and anxiety truncated with flashbacks and dissociative episodes showcases even further the unrelenting nightmare of CPTSD and the myriad effects of such a complicated disorder. Therefore, highlighting the superpowers attained as a result of CPTSD, and bringing validation to the superhuman strength and abilities developed over time, and the courage, and endurance needed to “live with” complex trauma is important and necessary.

If we look at the secretive nature of trauma, especially if exacted on a child’s first experiences of life and repeated into adulthood, and how it is hidden, dismissed, denied, and then continues on unaided and neglected in the growing individual we see its impact. This impact continues more broadly within the public sphere, as well as in humanity’s understanding of the collective nature of suffering, trauma, and untreated mental issues where we still find a wall of resistance, fear, silence, ignorance, and more rugs to sweep abuse under.

The idea of sourcing superpowers that arise from a state of survival and trauma is surely considered by some to be “raised eye-brow wisdom.” However, this isn’t about being an optimist on this very challenging topic and experience of trauma but to bring a different perspective to the conversation that we each, those that have experienced trauma, can bring to our truth and empowerment table; this space where we embrace all that we are in the here and now, and live fiercly and fully from the present moment as healthy, whole and remarkable.

So many of the conversations on complex trauma revolve around fixing ourselves. Trying to bandaid the litany of trauma experiences and aftershocks incurred daily, managing and healing ongoing and repetitive reactions specific to facing fears, embracing all of our fractured and terrified parts, and trying to meet a scary world one more time in hopes that this time will be easier and not alight our sensitive fight/flight survivalist responses. Little room is left to bring focus to the extraordinary human strength, ingenuity, and intelligence it takes to endure on a minute-to-minute basis and to simply carry on. There is little talk about bringing balance and understanding of how lives are molded, evolve, develop, and change (good and bad) to the table – or a new perspective. There is little talk about shining the light of truth on one’s self – on the cumulative self from birth to the present day that highlights the truth of wholeness, and the fact that you are not wrong nor is there anything wrong with you, you are not bad or broken, you are not worthless or insignificant – you are whole, enough, and worthy of thriving.

Sometimes, the loop that health professionals and others get caught in – is seeing your long-held survivalist strategies and trauma responses as all that you are – and something to focus wholly on and fix. We take up the gauntlet of “endlessly broken victim” in order to make it all make sense, and have something to focus on, have control over, blame, and cure. We consolidate ourselves into a small package that can hold us and all that upsets our lives as the only way to find relief, heal our broken self, and get to the finish line of “normal” – but what is “normal?”

What if you could stop and look squarely at yourself and see your exceptional, worthy, deserving, and complete self, and allow that narrative, and that truth to be yours? Can you taste that feeling if only for a moment or get a glimpse of your wholeness, and begin to understand that the crucibles you overcome each day are not who you are, nor do they define you but instead have revealed superhuman strengths and aspects that are exceptional and uniquely specific to you.

Everyone whether they have experienced childhood and/or adult trauma or not is a culmination of life experiences from birth to the present moment. You are fully who you are today – full stop. The question becomes… can you be okay with that? And, if not then how can you begin to accept who you are in this moment?

Childhood trauma fractures the mind into parts and pieces. You may never meet, be able to fix, or become aware of every fractured part. Can that be okay?

Can you begin to see yourself as complete right here and right now – even in the midst of all that trauma brings, leaves on your doorstep without permission, and is still inflaming in your mind, body, and life experience?

This is a true inquiry into your remarkable self, and from a trauma perspective a counterintuitive, and tough request to consider “radical acceptance.” This place within you that accepts all that you are in the face of what has happened and is still being experienced within you and mirrored back to you out in the world.

In my recent podcast on “radical acceptance,” I speak of staking ourselves to the hard ground as guinea pigs to experiment on in order to find relief, healing, understanding, and a way out of the jungle of complex trauma because there is so little help from outside sources. We use ourselves as experimental subjects to try and find any way to stop the screaming banshees, and ghosts from wreaking havoc on another day in our life. Having little to no help with our pain, or the topic of trauma and CPTSD itself we are left vulnerable and often vilified, ostracized, and heckled by our own families, extended family, family friends, and in-laws. We are retraumatized by this lack of understanding and care. Yet, we continue on in the face of the bullying, neglect, and rejection – we learn to love ourselves in order to keep moving forward – that is powerful and extraordinary.

The best minds in mental health aren’t the docs. They’re the trauma survivors who have had to figure out how to stay alive for years with virtually no help.

_Dr. Glenn Doyle, “Just So Ya Know: 30 Things To Keep In Mind While Rebuilding Your Life”

Throughout life, the broader hopes and viewpoints of youth narrow to a more battle-worn, measured, and realistic view of life through the lens of trial and error, wisdom, and maturity. The nonsense and superfluous chaff of life fall away to reveal the bare essentials instead. This can be a stark, scary, and revealing contrast to what we had been striving for as our benchmark of “normal” or societal acceptance. It can be an eye-opening and heart-breaking experience that we can run from, begrudgingly withstand, or radically accept. It is a choice and an opportunity for readiness. But do not miss the opportunity in its coming – this invitation is offered specifically for you and your benefit. It is asking you to perceive yourself and your life differently, and open to a new way of seeing how and who you are right here and right now.

Many years on an experimental, painful, and revelatory journey have helped peel away the scales from my eyes, and the thick armor from my heart. As I fought with, dispelled, denied, and ran from myself, from life, and situations that triggered me to flashbacks and dissociation from life I began to understand my own inner needs, internal cries for help, positive self-loving actions, and my superpowers that surviving against all odds had revealed. I began to face, accept and embrace all that I was – as whole, as loved, loving and loveable, and not broken! I have challenges, obstacles, and pitfalls that I continue to deal with and face but they didn’t have to define me any longer. I knew I was different from others and had to meet life differently but I finally accepted that just made me – me. I embraced my differences and the exceptional abilities I had developed over time like being hyper-vigilant, highly intuitive, empathic, able to juggle many things and maintain high functionality even during stressful times. I am a creative out-of-the-box thinker, a human truth detector, can see repetitive patterns easily, and am adept at investigating and getting to the truth quickly. After a while I also began to accept that I cared less about what anyone thought of me – their opinion of me was none of my business – and vice versa. I became a compassionate and supportive advocate for myself – as there was no one better positioned for that role than me.

Along with owning and embracing our superpowers, there is the need to face the kryptonite or the power-robbing sources of our being. These can come in the form of toxic people and specific environments that feel “unsafe” or energetically “icky,” as well as past or current abusers, and specific feelings of overwhelm or becoming flooded with emotions. Sickness, or times when there is a lack of energy, feeling foggy, exhausted, or “out of it”, and for women, this can show up in hormonal shifts and become a trigger that pushes us to panic and rage when we feel that we can’t take care of ourselves, defend ourselves or fight back due to the spacey, foggy feelings and sensations. Anything that activates a triggered response, flashbacks, or dissociative episodes without warning is kryptonite – those things that weaken our abilities, make us feel that we have failed ourselves or others in some way and rob us of precious time, resources, and our ability to be present and fully in our body. Can you begin to identify the kryptonite that recurs in your life, and robs you of your power and peace? Can you begin to see that as you identify them – and as they are revealed more clearly you have more perspective, compassion, and understanding?

These are small steps to take but in the long run, this information along with your identified superpowers can pull together a more complete picture of who you are – one that more closely resonates with your truth and authenticity – and one you can see with full admiration and appreciation. CPTSD waits for no one and offers little respite or peace on the journey of life yet if you look closely enough you can see the extraordinary ways in which you have coped, endured, lived and breathed, and gotten to this point in life. You are a courageous warrior on the path of life – handling all that comes your way as best as you can. There are no answers or easy exits to take on this road only the one that is presented to us and that takes bravery, fortitude, curiosity, and grace.

There is no winning or losing at CPTSD – there is merely accepting what is. It is the tonic to find lasting peace and harmony, trust, and acceptance of ourselves. I invite you to begin the journey of seeing yourself as a whole and complete, extraordinary, incredible being that is worthy, deserving, unique to the world, and necessary. David Whyte, poet and author speaks of our unique and necessary being through poetry:

Poetry is the great act of jogging people’s elbows – or reminding people that they are this astonishing sacred frontier of experience that has never appeared before in the whole of time and never ever will appear again, and there is no one else who can occupy that corner of creation except that one person. And their taste, the way they see, the flavor of things that they feel has never quite been felt in the same way by anyone else and never ever will be.

_David Whyte, “Midlife and the Great Unknown”

What are your superpowers? Superpowers can be as simple as:

• strong intuitive and empathic abilities
• saying “no” when you need to – without apology
• sensitivity and deep resonance with nature, animals, art, poetry, etc.
• practicing self-care and self-loving rituals
• juggling multiple things at the same time
• unyielding boundary setting
• truth-telling, and truth detection

What gifts, creative outlets and skills, ways of being, relating to, or dealing with others have you developed and are unique to you?

Find all the ways in which you are different, have created distinctive ways to cope and survive, and see these as unique to you, exceptional, and extraordinary – these are your superpowers.

Find all the ways in which you have turned challenges and the chaos of life into sources of understanding, love, compassion, self-acceptance, and triumphs of enduring.

This is not an easy journey – but it is worthy of note – it is worthy of recognizing your customized way of adapting to and meeting yourself and life each and every day. That is superhuman – that is a feat of sheer will, strength, and self-love.

To read or explore more please reference this publications resource list:

• Dr. Glenn Doyle, “Just So Ya Know: 30 Things To Keep In Mind While Rebuilding Your Life”
• David Whyte, “Midlife and the Great Unknown”

For other helpful articles, tools, and topics visit the HeartBalm Archives, and for healing-guided meditations please visit the HeartBalm Meditation Toolbox on the home page. To subscribe or to find out more information go to the HeartBalm website.

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

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Sunny Lynn, OMC

Sunny Lynn, OMC is a spiritual counselor, writer, poet, photographer, meditator, and nature lover on a mission of transmuting complex trauma through self-love, healing, and bringing balm to hearts everywhere. She has a blog and podcast – HeartBalm at heartbalm.substack.com that speaks on the topic of self-care and self-love, mindfulness and healing while living with CPTSD.