We are all different and unique in our skill sets at work and in how we are as human beings
Our world is busy and can feel overwhelming and unfriendly to anyone. With the internet and most businesses trading and communicating online, we can feel isolated in our work. It has become relatively easy to speak to anyone in the world at the click of a button. All you must think about is that not everyone is awake at the same time as you are, as international borders are blurred in a conference call. I am sure many of us know just how tired you can be after completing a full day’s work, only to go back online to speak to the offices on the other side of the world for business purposes. Our world is fast-paced, and we expect results from deals and targets. Many people find the constant pressures to achieve difficult, and not everyone can talk easily on camera. We are all different and unique in our skill sets at work and in how we are as human beings.
With the constant pressures in the work environment, change is inevitable. Change is something that most people find hard and struggle with. We are creatures of habit, and we like things the way they are and are reticent to our environment changing even if it is proven to be better. Change is inevitable at work and in our personal lives, and not all change is bad.
Why are we always so reticent at welcoming change in our lives?
In this blog, I endeavor to explore how survivors of abuse and trauma feel when facing change, either at work or in our personal lives. As a survivor of child abuse, I have had to go through many changes to be happy. For me, every part of change has not come easy, bringing with it a myriad of emotions. I know I am not alone in feeling this way. Change is scary because you have to open up a door to a new reality that you have never walked through before. In some respects, it is a gamble and can feel terrifying, even if the change is good for us.
My biggest change happened when I was 18 years old, and I bought a plane ticket to leave my abusive family and environment. I wasn’t even old enough to drink a beer, but I could buy a plane ticket! I sat alone at the gate, clutching my old backpack, watching the plane arrive that would take me away from everything and everyone I knew. I needed to break free. I knew it with every cell of my body because to stay would be suicide. Even though I knew I had to leave for myself, I struggled to get on that plane! My feet watched the floor move and shuddered as I boarded the plane with the other passengers. “Don’t worry, it’s like a bus on wheels, but better!” a stranger murmured to me. I felt lighter as the plane hit the tarmac with three precise bounces, and the passengers cheered that we had arrived. I was starting a new life in a new place after only a few hours of traveling.
Change happens to us all. It may not be as fundamental as relocating as I did, but we all have changes in our lives at some point. You might need to move apartments or houses. You may have to change who you rent your apartment with. You might change jobs several times or you might meet someone with whom you can share your life. Every change brings with it a whole new set of opportunities, but they also bring with them feelings that you may not be prepared for.
How do you feel when you are faced with change?
Do you allow yourself to feel those emotions?
Feelings and emotions are inevitable, just like change, but survivors of Complex PTSD do not always let feelings in. They happen whether we want them or not because they are how we make sense of our world. If we feel strongly about something, we should voice it, which may come out as frustration or anger. Whatever feelings you have about a change in your life, you need to make sure you have an outlet for it. These feelings deserve to be heard and not stuffed away and ignored. It is vital to our health and well-being that we talk about our feelings to a trusted someone. Without talking through our problems, we cannot operate and be as effective as we can be. Strong feelings tend to fester and gnaw at our insides when we ignore them. If you don’t have a “person” to talk to, why not express them in a different way, like journaling or through music and the arts?
Sometimes, you can welcome a change, like moving in with a new partner, but it can still stir up some strange emotions and questions.
Am I doing the right thing here?
As survivors of trauma, we don’t always listen to our intuitions and go through changes without catching up to our own reality. I have myself called up my friend and asked for a “reality check” when faced with changes. It is good to have someone you can bounce things to. Everything you feel matters. If the change is good, it can still stir up a lot of questions. Whatever feelings you have about a change, you need to voice them somehow. If people around you can understand what you are going through, they might be able to help you through the change.
Whatever you do and wherever you are in your healing journeys, I wish you happiness.
My name is Elizabeth, and I am a survivor.
Photo by Vlad Bagacian on Unsplash
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Elizabeth Woods grew up in a world of brutal sex offenders, murderers, and inconceivably neglectful adults. She suffered sexual abuse throughout her childhood and witnessed unspeakable events. Elizabeth survived in an environment where most people would not. She is now able to help other survivors heal from trauma through her writing and blogs. Elizabeth is passionate about spreading awareness of what it is like to survive after trauma. There is always hope.
Elizabeth is the author of several books and has written her memoir, telling her childhood story: The Sex-Offender’s Daughter: A True Story of Survival Against All Odds, available on Amazon Kindle. https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Offenders-Daughter-Story-Survival-Against-ebook/dp/B0BBSV97VF/?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_w=0pSdX&content-id=amzn1.sym.cf86ec3a-68a6-43e9-8115-04171136930a&pf_rd_p=cf86ec3a-68a6-43e9-8115-04171136930a&pf_rd_r=134-9913214-5397651&pd_rd_wg=MPpMc&pd_rd_r=d375a758-2d9b-4c6e-9aee-52c1f5a4e6f7&ref_=aufs_ap_sc_dsk
Elizabeth is also the author of “Living with Complex PTSD” and the Cedar’s Port Fiction series: “Saving Joshua”, “Protecting Sarah”, “Guarding Noah” and “Bringing Back Faith” available here:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CQRNST2B?binding=kindle_edition&qid=1711883073&sr=8-2&ref=dbs_dp_rwt_sb_pc_tkin
