Let’s skip the hashtags and therapy TikToks, and Reddit and YouTube therapists for a minute. The internet has turned mental health language into a kind of social currency. And right now, it’s in a state of inflation. Everyone’s a narcissist. Every disagreement is called gaslighting. Apparently, every life inconvenience is trauma now. It’s not just overuse. It’s misuse. And it’s not just annoying. It’s dangerous. Especially for the people those words were created to help. This isn’t about gatekeeping. It’s about not bulldozing a field we’ve spent decades trying to bring out of the shadows.
Mental Health Isn’t a Trend. It’s a Field.
Let’s start with the basics. Real trauma, clinical trauma, impacts the structure and function of the brain. PTSD is linked to changes in the hippocampus, amygdala, and prefrontal cortex. It affects memory, emotional regulation, and impulse control. It’s not just a bad day at work or a breakup (Bremner, 1999). The same goes for narcissistic personality disorder. Real NPD is a rare, deeply ingrained pattern of behavior tied to dysfunctional self-perception, lack of empathy, and manipulative tendencies. It’s not just someone who posts too many selfies or talks over you at dinner (American Psychiatric Association, 2013). Calling every bad date a narcissist or every ex-partner a sociopath isn’t just exaggeration. It’s a misrepresentation. And over time, it chips away at the credibility of those trying to describe real psychological harm.
A Few Clarifications. For Sanity’s Sake.
- Disagreeing with someone doesn’t mean they’re toxic. It means you’re two humans with different perspectives.
- Not liking someone doesn’t mean they’re mentally ill. Maybe you’re just incompatible.
- Not every uncomfortable conversation is someone trying to gaslight you.
- Believing something you find offensive doesn’t make a person diagnosable.
Words like narcissist, gaslighting, and trauma are clinical tools. They’re used in forensic evaluations, psychiatric assessments, trauma interventions, and court reports. If you toss them around flippantly, you turn them into noise.
Real Survivors Are Getting Lost in That Noise
Those who feel they could benefit from therapy decide they can heal themselves by listening to an influencer. People cold-turkey their medications because some anti-psychology YouTuber told them SSRIs are a government mind-control plot or that bipolar is just a frequency mismatch. Never mind that quitting psychiatric medication without medical supervision can trigger withdrawal syndromes, rebound symptoms, or, depending on the medication, life-threatening cardiac events. Sudden discontinuation of drugs like benzodiazepines or certain antidepressants has been linked to seizures, arrhythmia, and in rare cases, serotonin syndrome or death (Fava et al., 2015).
But hey, someone on YouTube said you just need to ground yourself with crystals.
I’m definitely not knocking spiritual practices. I’m all for deep breathing, energy work, compassion, kindness, walks in nature, therapy pets, whatever keeps you tethered to life when nothing else does. But time and place matter. When someone is in active psychiatric distress, they don’t need a sound bath. They need a treatment plan.
We can value holistic approaches and still acknowledge that mental illness sometimes requires more than sage and affirmations. What’s dangerous is when nuance disappears and it becomes a binary. Psychiatry “bad”, vibe healing “good.” That kind of thinking isn’t just wrong. It’s reckless.
And it’s not just vulnerable users falling into these traps. Even licensed therapists are having to spend entire sessions untangling the psychological wreckage left behind by online misinformation. They’re walking clients back from black-and-white thinking about narcissism, correcting misconceptions about what trauma even is, and reintroducing the difference between discomfort and disorder.
When a TikTok diagnosis feels more trustworthy than a clinical evaluation, something’s broken. And it’s not the patient. It’s the pipeline. The whole mental health conversation has been hijacked by clicks and charisma instead of qualifications and care. That wasted time isn’t harmless. It delays real healing. It waters down clinical triage. And it reinforces stigma. Ironically, the very thing these online advocates claim to be fighting.
The Goldwater Rule Exists for a Reason
Here’s something that seems to have vanished from the digital psyche. Ethics. Mental health professionals are prohibited from diagnosing people they haven’t assessed directly. That includes celebrities. That includes your ex. And that includes viral clips. Yet here we are. Social media threads are diagnosing politicians with antisocial traits. Instagram captions using CPTSD to explain being ghosted. Reddit advice columns throwing around “covert narcissist” like it’s a horoscope. Let’s be blunt. If you’re not qualified to diagnose in person, you’re not qualified to diagnose online. Your trauma doesn’t give you a license. Your heartbreak doesn’t give you credentials.
Words Are Tools. Don’t Use Them Like Weapons.
This is not about being politically correct. It is about being clinically correct. If we want people to take trauma seriously, we need to protect the vocabulary that gives it shape.
- When you call someone a narcissist just because they hurt your feelings, you’re erasing the woman who spent ten years living under covert emotional abuse.
- When you say you’re being gaslit because someone remembers an event differently, you’re sidelining the man whose reality was systematically rewritten by an abuser.
- When you label a breakup trauma, you’re standing on the shoulders of people whose trauma has rewired their nervous system.
And no, saying language evolves doesn’t give you a free pass to rewrite diagnoses to suit your mood. This isn’t slang. This is science.
The Fallout Isn’t Theoretical
Here’s what happens when diagnostic terms become casual insults.
- PTSD gets mocked. Misuse turns it into a punchline.
- Survivors lose credibility. Legal claims become harder to support.
- Clinicians lose time. Every distorted self-diagnosis adds another layer to peel back before treatment can begin.
- Social trust erodes. People stop listening when everything feels like an exaggeration.
- Misconceptions about PTSD can affect treatment-seeking and amplify stigma among patients, clinicians, and the public (Marshall et al., 2001).
Bottom Line: Accuracy Isn’t Optional
If you (really) care about mental health, then language matters. Accuracy matters. Ethics matter.
You don’t need a license to be compassionate. But if you’re going to use clinical words, then respect what they actually mean. Because every time you misuse those words, you’re not just being wrong. You’re making it harder for someone else to be taken seriously when they need help most.
Real trauma survivors don’t need your TikTok validation. They need room to heal in peace. With truth. With integrity. And with words that still mean what they’re supposed to mean.
References
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American Psychiatric Association. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.). Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Publishing; 2013.
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Bremner JD. Does stress damage the brain? Biol Psychiatry. 1999 Apr 15;45(8):797-805. doi:10.1016/S0006-3223(98)00189-8
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Marshall RD, Olfson M, Hellman F, Blanco C, Guardino M, Struening EL. Comorbidity, Impairment, and Suicidality in Subthreshold PTSD. Am J Psychiatry. 2001;158(9):1467–1473. doi:10.1176/appi.ajp.158.9.1467
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Shade M, Kwon M, Cowan K, Bowe B. TikTok Therapy: Mental Health Information and Misinformation in Short-Form Videos. JMIR Ment Health. 2023 Feb 3;10:e43837. doi:10.2196/43837
Photo by Total Shape on Unsplash
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Dr. Mozelle Martin is a retired trauma therapist and former Clinical Director of a trauma center, with extensive experience in forensic psychology, criminology, and applied ethics. A survivor of childhood and young adulthood trauma, Dr. Martin has dedicated decades to understanding the psychological and ethical complexities of trauma, crime, and accountability. Her career began as a volunteer in a women’s domestic violence shelter as a hospital advocate, later becoming a Police Crisis Therapist working alongside law enforcement on the streets of Phoenix. She went on to earn an AS in Psychology, a BS in Forensic Psychology, an MA in Criminology, and a PhD in Applied Ethics, ultimately working extensively in forensic mental health—providing psychological assessments, crisis intervention, and rehabilitative support within prisons and jails. Dr. Martin is also pursuing advanced legal studies at ASU Law, focusing on internet/cyber-defamation and constitutional law to advocate for stronger protections against targeted professional attacks online. A published author and lifelong student of life, she continues to explore the intersections of forensic science, mental health, and ethical accountability in both historical and modern contexts.
Hi Dr. Martin. I appreciate the engaging style of your writing, which speaks directly to the reader. Step by engaging step, you’ve laid out a long-overdue summation of how social media is corrupting our perception of reality; What is true and real. I’ve read your paper three times, something I rarely do, but it is a guardrail we all need to hear and refer back to regularly. Thank you for this exceptional and timely essay.
Jesse
Thank you for such a thoughtful note. I’m genuinely glad the essay resonated enough to warrant multiple reads. That tells me it hit a nerve in a meaningful way, which is exactly why I wrote it. We’re in a time where emotional momentum often replaces truth, and the cost of that confusion is steep. I appreciate you recognizing the need for guardrails. That feedback means more than you probably realize.
A great article. A good read and helpful. I’m not an online person but know the pernicious and illusory world of social media where the damage of online trends and memes outlive their transitory time in the limelight.
Knowing I had a certain type of brain damage and faulty wiring due to events beyond my control has been key to me accepting my CPTSD. Knowing it is a throwaway buzz word in modern discourse is not helpful.
Daniel, I hear you… and I agree. When something as serious as CPTSD becomes a meme or a catch-all buzzword, it risks trivializing the lifelong work people like you – and many of us – have had to do just to understand our own minds. You put it well: the damage outlives the trend. I’m glad the article was helpful, and I appreciate you taking the time to share your experience.
Hi Dr. Martin,
I felt a pull to respond to your post but unsure as responding meant being vulnerable in sharing lived experience from a very difficult part of my life. I fought to heal very distressing and deep emotional/psychological wounds that impacted so many area’s of my life and functioning for years, as a result of narcissistic abuse (yes, at the hands of someone clinically diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Anti-Social Personality Disorder). An experience that impacted me so deeply, once I escaped and made my way to therapy, understanding what narcissism was from a clinical perspective, I found myself recognizing the ways I had mimicked his behavior, losing all sense of who I was as a means to survive. As I am not finishing up my professional degree, I will eventually have the licensure to diagnose; however, you couldn’t be more correct about the need to heal in peace, in quiet, and in an environment under the care of accurate people. I have grown strength I never thought I had, but as a survivor, I cannot deny that at times, social media’s representation of trauma and narcissits makes me feel mocked, ashamed and like I want to just say, “your making a joke out of my experience and downplaying the time when I quite literally fought for my life.”
Thank you for your thoughtful and very meaningful post.
-From a real survivor, spoken vulnerably from her lived experience
Candice, you didn’t just share; you showed up, and that matters. What you described – the identity erosion, the survival mimicry, the slow rebuild of self – that is real trauma. Not the hashtag version. And you’re right: when social media flattens this kind of pain into jokes or trend-speak, it is a slap in the face to those who’ve lived it. I respect the hell out of your fight, your self-awareness, and your decision to bring this into your future work. That’s how real change happens. Quietly. Accurately. Ethically. Thank you for trusting me (and the page) with this. You’re not alone.
Dr. Martin;
Your writing style is refreshing, concise, and definitely holds the reader’s interest. For quite some time, many of us in the field of psychiatry-psychology have been concerned about the language and general inaccurate use of terminology tossed around by those without credentials. You are right, it is a dangerous misuse of mental health language. It is one of many serious problems with social media. We are in an age when people believe what they hear or read on social media without question. In fact, people frequently fail to question information they receive. They often fail to examine the source, purpose, accuracy, and integrity of what they read or hear from others. We are losing that ability to question and discuss important issues with friends, colleagues, and family members. We seem to blindly follow directions, recommendations, and the beliefs of others without question. Social connections need to improve in accuracy, integrity, and honesty.
Thank you for speaking out and addressing this issue.
Dr. Thompson
Dr. Thompson, thank you for this. It means a great deal coming from someone in the field who understands the long-term consequences of linguistic drift in clinical spaces. You’re absolutely right – we’re witnessing a breakdown in not only language accuracy, but also critical reasoning and interpersonal discourse. When diagnostic terms become social currency, the damage isn’t just semantic – it’s systemic. I’m grateful to stand alongside professionals like you who still value integrity over trend.
Thank you for your writing – it was extremely well written and easy to understand. It brought to mind something Dr. Diane Langberg has stated repeatedly in her efforts to opening up the facts of abuse to church groups and the like. She says we must name things accurately. In her work it requires enlightening and educating people to the fact that there is abuse. No sugar coating and covering up should be tolerated. That type of behavior – not naming things correctly – only protects the abuser and the systems that breed it or allow it to continue for fear of hurting the institutions they care about at the expense of the victims and survivors. She has been doing her work for over 50 years. I appreciate direct language that is true and to the point. Thank you
Deanna, I really appreciate your thoughtful response. Your reference to Dr. Diane Langberg is a powerful one. Her work has paved the way for honest, unflinching conversations about abuse, especially in places where denial is often dressed up as “grace.” You’re exactly right: not naming things accurately protects abusers and systems, not survivors. It’s why clarity in language matters so much, and why I wrote the piece the way I did. Thank you for seeing the point and standing in that truth.
Dr. Martin thank you so much for this! As someone who has struggled with C-PTSD for decades, it pains me when people misuse the term “trauma”. A nurse once told me her former boss got ptsd after he lost his job.??? No doubt he was going through a challenging time but losing your job does not create the damage to your brain that abuse does. Thank you for putting this out there. Your writing style is beautiful in it’s clarity!
Lise, thank you for this. You put words to something so many trauma survivors feel but often stay quiet about. That is, how casually the term “trauma” gets tossed around now, even in professional circles. You’re right, losing a job is difficult, but it doesn’t neurologically rewire your survival system the way prolonged abuse does. That false equivalency not only waters down the clinical meaning, it invalidates the depth of real CPTSD. I’m grateful you took time to speak up here, and I see your clarity, too.