We don’t often think about ourselves. Most of the time, we don’t take regular breaks at work.
Who cares what you think about yourself?
Well, you do–yes, really. The reason is that you matter, and your presence in this world matters.
Think about the last meaningful conversation that you had with someone. What happened, and how did you leave it? Did you feel happy about it, or not?
Why did you feel that way?
Everything you do in life matters, and believe it or not, people do pay attention.
Think about the last time you made a stupid mistake. How quickly did people notice and comment? Did someone make a joke at your expense?
How about the last time you did something amazing–like getting your first year sober, or passing an exam? People notice these things and want to celebrate your successes.
I used to think no one noticed me, but when I looked for evidence, I found clear examples of people hearing, seeing, and noticing me.
My point is, we don’t often pause and think about ourselves because we are too busy. But by ignoring our feelings, we miss more than we can ever consider.
Think about someone who makes you happy. It could be a family member or a good friend.
What’s special about them? What do you value in them?
Do they have a great sense of humor? Maybe they’re a good listener, or someone with positive energy? Perhaps you value their kindness the most? Maybe they have some other qualities that sets them apart from others.
Someone told me recently that they like being with me because “I made them feel seen,” because I listen.
Now turn those same questions to yourself.
What’s special about you? What qualities do people value in you? What type of friend and colleague are you? What sets you apart from others?
What comments do you get from people?
How do you feel about yourself? Is your answer positive, balanced, or negative?
How do you think your perceptions affect your life?
Self-worth vs. self-esteem
These two words sound similar, but they do have different meanings.
Self-worth is the way you value yourself. It is the way you believe in yourself–that you are good enough to receive love, respect, and kindness from other people.
People with low self-esteem generally have a negative view of themselves. They are usually quick to judge or evaluate themselves by criticizing their own actions, brushing off compliments, and focusing on mistakes.
Living without self-worth makes is very difficult to put yourself first. For example, you may not go for that opportunity because you feel other people are better than you. You might stay in an abusive relationship because you don’t feel that you deserve better from life.
You are the one who initiates what happens in your life. It all starts with you. Your overall health is important because it affects the ways in which you feel, think, and behave.
Having low self-worth puts you at risk for many health conditions, like anxiety and depression. Over time, these can lead to problems such as phobias and substance abuse.
Self-esteem relies on external factors like successes and achievements. It can change how you value yourself with life’s ups and downs.
A breakup can make you feel low for weeks–even months afterward. A failed college exam can have a similar effect on your mood and how you see yourself.
An abusive relationship can put a major dent in your self-esteem and make you feel bad about yourself.
Don’t let life bring you down.
It’s time you look up and put yourself first. Who else is going to look out for you?
People who are happy generally have high self-esteem and self-worth. They take greater care of themselves by making better life choices and live fuller lives. They know their own strengths and limitations, and face life’s challenges with resilience.
It’s not selfish to take care of yourself.
Many people struggle with self-worth and self-esteem. The great thing is that you can learn to see yourself in a more positive light with some practice.
Turning it around
Self-compassion is great way to start feeling better about yourself. Start each day by being kind to yourself. Instead of seeing mistakes and flaws, think about yourself the same way as you see your loved ones, and those you value most.
Treat yourself with respect instead of criticizing everything you say and do. Remind yourself every now and again that it’s okay to make mistakes. You’ll soon notice the difference in your attitude.
Take notice of how you are feeling, and own those feelings. You’ll start to feel much more in tune with yourself–and with those around you.
My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.
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For more about me: https://www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com
Elizabeth Woods grew up in a world of brutal sex offenders, murderers, and inconceivably neglectful adults. Elizabeth is passionate about spreading awareness of what it is like to survive after trauma. She is the author of several books and has written her memoir, telling her childhood story: The Sex-Offender’s Daughter: A True Story of Survival Against All Odds, available on Amazon Kindle and paperback.
Elizabeth is also the author of “Living with Complex PTSD” and the Cedar’s Port Fiction series: “Saving Joshua”, “Protecting Sarah”, “Guarding Noah” and “Bringing Back Faith,” and “Restoring Hope,” available here: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0BCBZQN7L/allbooks?ingress=0&visitId=7e223b5b-1a29-45f0-ad9d-e9c8fdb59e9c&ref_=ap_rdr&ccs_id=931f96e2-c220-4765-acc8-cc99bb95e8bd