What Do Your Nerves Say About You? Steadiness, Presence and Calm are Always Within Reach

When your world turns upside down

When you feel like you want to die

When there’s nobody around

When all you can do is cry

Living with trauma is not easy and most people have no idea what survivors go through every single day. I write for those who have no voice due to trauma, in the hope that I can make their day a little less heavy.

I write to spread awareness of trauma behavior so that family members can recognize the signs, and help take care of loved ones when they are struggling.

I write because I’ve been living with trauma memories all my life. I know how to heal, and get through even the worst memories. If I can do it, so can any survivor.

There is life after trauma, and it can be great.

In this article, I’m talking about your healing journey. The one path to happiness that I’ve traveled on for many years. I know it’s not easy to heal, but I also know that it can be done.

Let’s take a look at your healing journey and delve deeper into your nervous system.

The nervous system is your body’s command center. It functions from your brain, spinal cord, and nerves by using electrical and chemical signals to transmit information through the body.

Your Peripheral Nervous System (PNS) is made up of all the nerves which branch out of the brain and spinal cord, connecting to every area of the body.

PNS is made up of two areas: the Somatic and the Autonomic nervous system.

The Somatic nervous system controls voluntary movements, whereas the Autonomic nervous system takes care of our bodily functions. (breathing, digestion, temperature etc.).

Here, I’m going to explore the Somatic system and what happens while we are healing from trauma.

Many trauma responses don’t look like trauma. You might be feeling great, and yet your body is telling you that maybe you’re not.

Trauma responses can look like these:
Constant apologizing
Feeling guilty for resting
Overthinking conversations
Always expecting the worst.

Struggling to trust people
Needing more time to process emotions and situations
Jumping at loud noises
Feeling responsible for everyone
Finding it hard to say “no”
Feeling emotionally numb or disconnected

These aren’t personality flaws. They are often protective survival responses your nervous system developed after experiencing trauma, chronic stress, emotional neglect, or abusive relationships.

The good news is that your nervous system can learn safety again.

Healing doesn’t mean forgetting what happened to you. It means helping your body understand that the danger has passed, and building a life where you can finally feel safe.

There is support to help with your healing journey out there.

Here are a few techniques that I can recommend for those days that you’re not feeling your best self.

Try them out and let me know what works for you.

Nervous system regulation

A cool shower that washes away the hot day. Feel the water sluice the stressors off your body.

Listen to your favorite music. Notice how your body begins to appreciate the tunes by singing or humming along. You may even tap your feet.

Wear your favorite clothes and notice how you feel. That cosy warm feeling is nice after an emotional trigger.

Retreat into a space that blocks out all the noise, or wear noise-canceling headphones. Relish in the quiet for a while and get yourself into a better head space.

Treat yourself to your favorite takeout food after a hard day. The taste of something nice can help you feel better.

Notice your shoulders and neck. If you are carrying trauma, that stress often sits in these areas. Tense and release your shoulders a few times and notice the difference.

Grounding exercises

Feel your feet sink into sand on the beach. Notice the change in temperature in the layers.

Dip your feet into a lake or the ocean. Notice the change in temperature and how it feels on your skin.

Lay down in your favorite place where you won’t be disturbed. Close your eyes for a moment or two. Then open them. Notice five things in your surroundings, think about four things you can hear, three things you can touch, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste.

Once you’re done with the final exercise, your body should be nice a calm.

Breathing techniques

Take a deep breath and feel it expands in your chest. Then release it and let everything go. Repeat until you feel calm.

If you want to try more breathing techniques, I’ve authored a whole article about the “Power of Breathing.” Access it here:

https://medium.com/illumination/the-power-of-the-breath-3e7dd21d1f4e

Trauma-informed Education

There are many books out there claiming to know what it feels like to heal from trauma. As a survivor, I know that not every book does what it says or describes living with trauma accurately.

In my opinion, it takes years to understand what it feels to live with trauma if you haven’t experienced it yourself.

Check out the credentials of the authors before you buy these type of books. Do they know what they’re talking about? What’s their background and experience?

Take a look at the CPTSD Foundation website. There are daily help and advice for trauma survivors.

The Trauma Research Foundation is another website that houses a community of clinicians working with trauma survivors.

Big names such as Dr. Bessel van der Kolk and Dr. Gabor Mate have both published extensively on the topic. Their books are favorite reads of mine, especially Dr. Kolk’s “The Body Keeps the Score.”

Journaling

Journaling your feelings can help if you are struggling with trauma memories. Write it all down and then let it go if you can.

Here is an article I wrote about how journaling can help you heal from trauma:

https://medium.com/pen-with-paper/how-journaling-can-help-you-heal-c151be15be28

Somatic exercises

There are somatic exercises that can help to release trauma from the body. They focus on body sensations to signal safety to the brain to regulate and reconnect you back to “normal.”

Somatic healing involves:

• Stretching and movement exercises.
• Breathwork
• Titration and pendulating
• Tremoring and shaking.

This might sound strange to some readers, but I can tell you that if you are stuck in a trauma trigger, somatic healing exercises can help you out of that fight vs flight feeling.

Supportive community

Having people around you is vital for your mental health. We are social creatures and we thrive best when we are supported by others. Being supported doesn’t mean that you have to be with people all the time. There needs to be a balance of respect and boundaries.

For me, just knowing that I have friends who I can bounce things off to when I’m triggered means everything to me. I know my friends are there for me through anything.

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

Support your fellow writer:

https://ko-fi.com/elizabe69245484

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