By Dr. Jamie Huysman, Founder and Executive Director of STAR Network & Milena Stankovic Co-Founder of STAR Network
Our workplace behaviors often serve as a reflection of our personal histories. For many, unresolved childhood trauma subtly influences the way they interact with colleagues, handle responsibilities, and manage challenges. While the effects of trauma are deeply personal and vary from person to person, there are common patterns that can emerge in professional environments. Recognizing these signs is the first step toward fostering understanding, empathy, and healthier work dynamics.
In this article, we’ll explore how past trauma can shape workplace behaviors, identify key signs to watch for, and offer practical strategies for fostering a healthier relationship with work. Whether you’re recognizing these patterns in yourself or others, this guide will help you better understand the hidden impact of trauma and provide tools to navigate it effectively.
The Invisible Impact of Childhood Trauma
Trauma doesn’t remain confined to the past – it shapes our perceptions, coping mechanisms, and relationships. At work, these influences may appear in ways that are often misinterpreted as personality quirks or professional shortcomings. However, these behaviors are often survival strategies that individuals have carried with them since childhood.
Here are some of the ways childhood trauma can manifest in the workplace:
- The burden of excessive independence
- Overextending beyond your limits
- The inability to set boundaries
- Perfectionism and the fear of failure
- Struggles with trust and authority
The Burden of Excessive Independence
A strong sense of independence can appear admirable, but for some, it stems from a deep fear of relying on others. Individuals who experience this may avoid asking for help or delegating tasks, believing that doing so could inconvenience their colleagues or expose perceived vulnerabilities. For instance, consider an employee who insists on handling every aspect of a project on their own, even to the point of exhaustion. This excessive self-reliance might mask an underlying belief that seeking assistance is a sign of weakness.
Pushing Yourself Past Your Limits
Many individuals with a history of trauma struggle to prioritize their own needs. They may feel compelled to take on more responsibilities than they can manage, often running on empty while continuing to give to others. This pattern may stem from a desire to feel valued or avoid feelings of rejection. Picture a colleague who constantly volunteers for new projects, even when their plate is already full. Despite the strain, they push forward, often neglecting their well-being in the process.
Struggling to Set Boundaries
Boundaries are essential for maintaining balance and protecting one’s mental health, but for some, the fear of disappointing others can make it difficult to say no. These individuals might take on additional tasks or responsibilities, even at the cost of their own energy and peace of mind. Imagine an employee who agrees to lead a major project despite being overwhelmed with other commitments. Their inability to decline may stem from a deep-seated fear of letting others down or being perceived as unreliable.
The Drive for Perfection and Fear of Failure
For many people, childhood trauma instills a relentless fear of failure. This can manifest as perfectionism in the workplace – a need to exceed expectations in order to feel secure or worthy. While striving for excellence is not inherently bad, it can become unhealthy when driven by anxiety or self-doubt. An employee caught in this cycle might spend hours perfecting minor details or overanalyzing feedback, often at the expense of their mental health and productivity.
Struggles with Trust and Authority
Past experiences with unreliable or controlling figures can lead to difficulties in trusting authority or colleagues. This may cause individuals to question others’ motives or avoid collaboration, even when it is unnecessary. For example, someone who struggles with trust might hesitate to share ideas in meetings or prefer to work alone, fearing that their contributions won’t be valued or respected.
How to Support Yourself or Others
Recognizing these behaviors as potential signs of trauma is a powerful step toward understanding yourself and others. By addressing these patterns and seeking support, individuals can begin to break free from the shadows of trauma and create a more balanced and fulfilling professional life. If you’re ready to take the next step in your journey of recovery, consider joining TAR Anon™, powered by STAR Network™.
TAR Anon is a free, safe, online, and anonymous worldwide program dedicated to providing emotional regulation, co-regulation, and healing from complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD).
Through research-based Steps, Promises, and the support of trained mentors, TAR Anon offers a compassionate community where you can connect with others, access valuable resources, and share your experiences – all at NO COST.
You’ll find a space for support, understanding, and growth.
The STAR Network and TAR Anon invite you to become part of a supportive community where healing becomes possible.
Together, we can transform childhood mirages into real oases of hope and resilience. Join TAR Anon and take the next step in your recovery today.
Photo by Desola Lanre-Ologun on Unsplash
