For those of us who have begun our healing journeys, we are all too familiar with what the impact of leaving survival mode means.
It signifies a shift toward healing and a more balanced and fulfilling life, enabling us to prioritize our mental well-being and work toward our ultimate goal of healing from trauma.
What people may not realize is how tired it makes us. Both physically and mentally.
Working through trauma is exhausting. Our bodies have stored the trauma for so long, like a grip; when we finally start releasing it, the body needs to rest and heal. Healing is not just a mental process; we must allow time for our bodies to recalibrate.
It’s why self-care is vital. What ever that may look like, it’s important because without it we will only end up running on empty and that makes things significantly worse, not only for our mental health, but our relationships and our over all well-being. Prioritizing self-care allows us to recharge and think more clearly.
Sleep doesn’t always mean rest
Annoyingly, even when we get sleep, we can often wake still feeling exhausted. Healing from trauma means there is no downtime for us. Our minds and bodies are constantly working through the tension and processing the emotions and memories. It can even be repressed anger turned inwards. That means even during sleep, and when we wake, we are still exhausted. Sometimes, my body may be rested, but my mind is not. That there is a heaviness in my head that does not go away, and it can be a constant battle.
Although, in saying that, I do find that once I have been able to process that experience and I have managed to rest, I generally feel significantly lighter and more energized. A weight has definitely been lifted off my shoulders. So, it feels like a good trade-off.
The sense of relief signifies the release of so many pent-up emotions and the burden of my trauma that I have carried around for so long. There is a sense of freedom to be found, making the hard work all the more worthwhile. The idea is to show ourselves that even our exhaustion from doing the work IS taking care of ourselves.
Self-compassion is always important
It’s extremely important when doing trauma work that we go easy on ourselves. We have to allow ourselves the time and space to heal, recognizing that progress is not linear. That there will be many starts and stops, and self-compassion is key.
In a world where everyone seems to want instant satisfaction, it can be hard to adopt the process of taking the time we need to heal properly. In fact, a great quote I came across is by a clinical professor of psychiatry, Richard Kluft. He said, “The slower we go, the faster we get there.”
He believed that taking things slow would result in less turmoil and, eventually, quicker results. I happen to agree with this line of thinking because if we rush the healing process, we tend to cause further internal conflict. Taking a more careful approach allows us to process our emotions and experiences fully and in a healthy way. After all, patience can often be the most effective strategy for achieving lasting peace, and it’s helpful to keep that in mind as we go through our healing journey.
Every step forward is progress
While it can be draining, we will begin to feel as we make progress that the work is, in fact, working. For me, when I can quiet my inner critic, even for a brief moment, my mind can rest. But most importantly, I have begun to understand my trauma better, how much I can actually deal with at any given time—my thoughts, the associated feelings, and what techniques I need to use in that moment.
I am taking back control of my life every day the more I understand and learn about my trauma and cPTSD. It’s allowed me to set healthy boundaries and prioritize my own well-being, and that clarity empowers me because I know things are getting better.
Remember, when we’ve been in survival mode so long and we have literally run off cortisol and adrenaline our entire lives, we are going to be exhausted. It doesn’t mean we have failed. We are still here. Facing every new day as it comes, and that is something we should all be damn proud of.
Photo by Francisco Moreno on Unsplash
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Jack Brody, born and raised in Boston and now a NYC implant where he has resided for the last 30 years. Proud father to a teenage daughter. Child abuse survivor who was diagnosed with CPTSD 6 years ago. A mens mental health advocate, he hopes to share his journey, so it can inspire and give hope to others out there and let them know they are not alone.
Depression has improved, but anxiety is persistent
I know rationality it’s time to let go of what’s troubling me, but I find it very difficult to feel safe.