This month, I will explore the topic of emotional dysregulation, as it is one of the defining symptoms of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) and wreaks havoc for the trauma survivor trying to navigate the workplace.
Emotional dysregulation refers to difficulties managing, controlling, or modulating one’s emotional responses. Trauma survivors experiencing emotional dysregulation may have trouble regulating the intensity, duration, and expression of their emotions in a way that is socially and culturally appropriate.
This can manifest as intense emotional reactions, impulsivity, mood swings, and challenges in effectively coping with stress or frustration. To those around you, your reaction or response to certain situations may seem out of proportion to the situation or like you are overreacting.
Have you ever been accused of being a “hothead” or told that you were overreacting? It can be very upsetting and embarrassing for a trauma survivor to experience this in the workplace. You may know that your response is more intense than the situation warrants, but you may have no idea why.
The Biology of Safety
If you follow my writing, you have heard me talk about this before, but I think it is important for you to understand what is happening in your body when you experience emotional dysregulation.
The Creator designed us to survive. He gave us tools, coping skills, and intuition to help us survive. Survival is a biological imperative. Everything our body does is hardwired to keep us safe and help us survive.
I like to use the analogy of the home security system. It comprises three main parts: the threat detection system, the threat response system, and the database.
The Threat Detection System
Our bodies were designed with threat sensors called the Senses. Our senses (sight, smell, sound, touch, taste) constantly scan our environment for signs of potential danger. Our senses collect information or data from our environment.
The Threat Response System
We are all biologically equipped with several “default” responses (fight, flight, freeze, fawn) to threats within our environment located within the Amygdala. The Amygdala is the first part of the body that develops in the womb.
As we grow and develop, we learn more advanced coping strategies, but we all are initially equipped with these responses to help us cope with danger.
The Database
The Creator designed us with an amazing supercomputer that records every bit of information for every situation we experience. It is called the hippocampus. As soon as your hippocampus is developed in the womb, it starts recording information.
It records data from our senses (sight, smell, sound, touch, taste), our environment (situation), and our emotions (thoughts, beliefs). A memory is made up of all the metadata from a specific situation.
Emotional Dysregulation
Our senses continuously collect data from our environment, and when those criteria are met, they return a record (memory) from our database…like a Google search.
If you’ve experienced a lot of trauma, your database will likely return several records that provide your brain with options for coping with the situation to keep you safe. In a nanosecond, our brains will filter through hundreds or thousands of rows of data, searching for the safest response option (fight, flight, freeze, fawn). The brain’s goal is to find the safest response option in the shortest time to keep us safe.
Whenever you experience a similar situation, more records/data will be added to the database. With each record comes increased intensity, which can easily dysregulate us.
I want to reiterate something here…if you have or are experiencing this, there is nothing wrong with you…you are operating as designed. Everything in your biological system is working together to keep you safe.
Understanding and identifying these triggers or threat parameters is critical in managing emotional dysregulation and developing healthier emotional responses.
In the next couple of weeks, I will help you learn to identify the components of your own threat query and teach you how to refine the query language to get better results.
In the meantime, here are some common types of emotional dysregulation triggers:
- Interpersonal Conflict: Disagreements, arguments, criticism, or conflict with others can trigger intense emotional reactions, such as anger, frustration, or sadness.
- Stressful Life Events: Significant life events, such as job loss, relationship problems, financial difficulties, or health issues, can trigger emotional dysregulation due to the added stress and uncertainty they bring.
- Trauma Reminders: For individuals with a history of trauma or PTSD, anything that reminds them of the traumatic event, such as a sound, smell, or visual cue, can trigger overwhelming emotions and flashbacks.
- Abandonment or Rejection: Fear of abandonment or perceived rejection by others can be a powerful emotional trigger, leading to intense feelings of anxiety, fear, or sadness.
- Change and Uncertainty: Transitions or changes in routine, even positive ones like starting a new job or moving to a new place, can be emotionally destabilizing.
- Negative Self-Talk: Negative self-talk and self-criticism can trigger feelings of shame, guilt, or worthlessness.
- Physical Sensations: Physical sensations like hunger, fatigue, or pain can influence emotions. For some individuals, being physically uncomfortable can trigger irritability or mood swings.
- Substance Use or Withdrawal: The use of substances like alcohol or drugs, or withdrawal from them, can impact emotional regulation. Substance use can temporarily numb emotions, while withdrawal can intensify them.
- Environmental Factors: The physical environment, such as excessive noise, overcrowding, or sensory overload, can overwhelm the nervous system and trigger emotional dysregulation.
- Unmet Needs: Unmet emotional or physical needs, such as a lack of support, validation, or self-care, can trigger emotional distress.
It may seem impossible at the moment to manage your triggers or threat responses, but it is possible. You can learn to do it. It will take some practice and some work, but you can absolutely do it.
An Invitation
If you are a trauma survivor looking for an online community of other survivors focusing on their careers, I invite you to join The Resilient Career Academy™ Community. (RCA Community)
The RCA Community is a FREE group dedicated to helping/supporting trauma survivors working to overcome the legacy effects of trauma on their careers.
The benefits to you are:
- Community — The community provides support, encouragement, the ability to share frustrations and get feedback from people who understand the struggle
- Workplace/Career Resources — The group provides tools, resources, and templates to help you with your career journey
- Available Coaching Support — The community is supported by trained and certified trauma recovery coaches who are available for individual sessions
- Learning — You will have access to various trauma/workplace-related online courses developed by our coaches to help you in your journey
- Workshops/Webinars — You will have access to practical workshops/webinars targeted to help you in the workplace to grow your career
If you are interested in joining us, click here: https://resilientcareeracademy.myflodesk.com/community
As always, you do not have to walk this journey alone. Contact me to schedule your free discovery call.
Trigger Tracker Template — This is a FREE resource to help you keep track of the triggers in your workplace and to plan the coping strategies you will use to get through the experience.
Get on the waiting list for The Resilient Career Academy™. You won’t want to miss it.
If you want to stay informed on the programs, tools, and training I offer, sign up for my mailing list.
You can also visit my website for more information on courses and other freebies I offer at: https://www.cyndibennettconsulting.com.
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Believer. Leader. Learner. Advocate. Writer. Speaker. Coach. Mentor. Triathlete. Encourager. Survivor.
Most of all, I am a fellow traveler on the rocky road called, Trauma Recovery. My mission is to minimize the effects of trauma for survivors in the workplace.
