Another thing to think about, is not only what constitutes “complex trauma,” but also who is most vulnerable, most susceptible. There is something I have been meaning to write about that is personal to me. I don’t see as much out there about this as I would expect, given the fact that I know it’s not an uncommon phenomenon:

The Complex Trauma of Bullying and Abuse

Bullying and abuse, whether that be verbal, emotional, or sexual in nature, tends to occur more than once, and oftentimes it is ongoing. This can happen to anyone at any age, but today I want to focus on kids, teens, and young adults. Anyone can fall victim to these things, and it can leave a lasting impact on one’s emotional, mental, and psychological health—even physical health, as those with CPTSD are much more likely to suffer from chronic health issues (this can be an effect of prolonged stress and trauma).

For me, bullying and abuse has not always been so obvious. It is not always about one kid pushing another kid into a locker, but more likely to be snide remarks and pointed glares, or a group of kids deliberately taunting another, to the point of ostracizing them. This is complex because, as I said before, it rarely ever happens one time (although those traumas are just as valid).

Throughout various ages and by multiple individuals and groups, I have been teased, taunted, bullied, abused, etc. This doesn’t mean that I didn’t have any friends or that what was happening to me was considered socially unacceptable—in fact, oftentimes teasing and bullying among elementary, middle school, high school students, and even across family members, is not seen as ‘abuse’ or ‘bullying’ at all, but rather developmentally in the norm. It’s considered a part of growing up, is societal and is far from healthy.

There is a group of children and teens, adults too, who are more vulnerable to being bullied, teased, abused, even neglected. I am here to talk about these people because, while I may seem ‘typical’ on the outside, I am one of them. I am neurodivergent and a survivor of multiple traumas.

What Does it Mean to Be “Neurodivergent?”

“Neurodivergent,” according to various sources, has a few different meanings. My personal understanding of neurodivergence is that those who are neurodivergent are not neurotypical. This means that their brains are wired in a different way than the ‘average.’ This typically includes diagnoses like ADHD, Autism, learning disabilities like Dyslexia (reading disability) and Dyscalculia (math disability), Tourette Syndrome, and Sensory Processing disorder. Some say conditions like OCD and anxiety that exist from a very early onset may also be considered developmental too. Mental illnesses are not generally part of this definition as many develop later in life and are considered  an ‘illness’ rather than a unique neurotype.

I am neurodivergent myself! The wild thing about this though is that I didn’t know or have official ‘labels’ until my 20s (just over the past few years). I have suspected I was different my whole life and have dealt with issues with learning math, coordination, developmental delays, anxiety, and attention for a long time, as well as sensory challenges and mild tics. I had always had at least a couple of good friends growing up or a small friend group, and I managed to do well in school due to a pressure I put on myself, and so I was just referred to as clumsy, spacey, quirky, and nervous as well as a little bit awkward.

Why Neurodivergent Kids, Teens, and Adults are More Susceptible to Bullying

Those of us who appear ‘different’ from most (particularly during the middle school years but this can apply throughout childhood/adolescence/adulthood)  tend to be either taunted, laughed at, picked on, or outcast and ignored. Sometimes it is because we are too kind and naïve and gullible; other times it is because we lack the social cues to either pick up on what we are doing or to fit in. This can be seen in families too, not just in school or the workplace Sometimes a parent feels they can’t connect with their neurodivergent child; in other cases, the parent may see traits of neurodivergence that they have reflected in their child and resent the neurodivergent family member for this too. It is complicated.

I know for me, as someone who is neurodivergent, I have often come off as naïve and overly trusting to the world, which has also led me to some negative situations that were ultimately traumatic.

The Complicated Overlap of CPTSD, Developmental Disorders, and Mental Illness

I will speak for myself here since this can be so individual to every person and I am no expert. However, after seven years of therapy, I am most certainly educated on the contributions of my collective identity, my traumas as well as the interplay between these forces.

I am neurodivergent, which in many ways is a blessing, even if it is also a disability in today’s society. I have ADHD, multiple learning disabilities, mild tics, and sensory processing issues. I also have had OCD and anxiety as long as I can remember, with my other mental illnesses, such as bipolar disorder and eating disorders, joining the party as I grew into a teenager and then entered my 20s. CPTSD has been there for me for a long time, and I am unsure when it developed as it shares symptoms with some of the other conditions I have. I sometimes am unsure when my traumas began and what may have led to such a diagnosis. I can say with certainty though that I do have trauma and that it is valid. The pain from my traumas and mental illnesses affects me daily; while being neurodivergent is not an illness, it has its challenges.

The overlap of these conditions makes life – sometimes difficult. Challenging. Scary. Oftentimes I feel broken and unworthy because of my traumas and the possible pre-cursers that led to them. Not everybody who has ADHD or is Autistic ends up bullied, and not everyone who is bullied is neurodivergent.

These various ‘disorders’ can mimic each other, and so it has taken many years,  many professionals and personal discovery for me to finally understand who I am, both with and without labels, and with and without my traumas. Today I use lots of therapy, coping skills, and several medications to manage my unique constellation of disabilities. I am a graduate student getting my master’s in creative writing, and accommodations have helped me continue my education, just as therapy has helped me stay afloat, and sometimes even thrive. I am stronger than my past, despite intrusive memories and hypervigilance trying to show me otherwise. I like to remind myself that underneath that broken feeling is a strong person who is creative and kind and an outside-the-box-thinker, ready to advocate and help others.

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