They Were Right: I’ll Never Be Good Enough for Someone

I’ve been in very toxic relationships. And if you have been to, feel free to write about it here at this amazing CPTSD Foundation or at TAR Tales. 

How do you assume that someone you believed that they “loved” you treated you well? You are only seeing what you want to see. That person that you used to cry your eyes out, get sick, and lose jobs and friends might be a total knob behind closed doors. But you didn’t want to admit it. Who wants to admit that they were wrong? It takes courage.

But anyway, who cares now? These people are finally gone. Be grateful. Love yourself, forgive yourself, just as Leonard Cohen, would say “Hallelujah!”

If your ex treated you badly you are better off without him in your life.

A failed relationship doesn’t make you worthless. Get out there and celebrate being rid of his toxic ass. And so I did, and I made the best decision of my life. I’ve packed my cigarettes, and get out of my cupboard, where I was put to smoke because after years of support suddenly my cigarettes became a problem (tomorrow would be something else). That’s how narcissists operate. What did I do then? All I wanted to do before I met this person.

1. I’ve seen my family.
2. I’ve provided for my family.
3. I’ve taken care of my needs.
4. I’ve sought help.
5. I’ve made amends.
6. And I packed my bags and traveled to see my relatives who are spread around Europe.
7. But of all, I started to write again, to help children who are stuck in Parental Alienation, to make a difference.

Once I said I am fearless, and I am.

No toxic relationship will bring me down. My life has become better the moment the locks were changed. I still have lots to work on myself: trauma, confidence, shame, and anguish. But I will make it. Day by day, I will improve. I have people who believe in me and I won’t let them down. I decided to pack my bags and leave for my homeland and the most unexpected situation when I wasn’t looking for anyone someone was waiting for me.

I was shocked that I never missed my ex. Because he never existed. I miss the idea of having someone. I don’t hate him, I pity him, I pity his ex-partners, his children, his ex-wife, and his family. He was just a boy who wished to be loved but didn’t know how. The sad part about feelings, they don’t understand toxicity, only the mind can make that distinction between beautiful and toxic.

Today, yesterday, and always, I was and will be the luckiest girl in the world.

Thanks to this experience I know that I should have known that way earlier. Now let’s get to the good part, girls, women, mothers, men, and human beings.

Always practice the below:

1. Take your time with emotions — cry, do drugs, stop using drugs, hug, talk, scream, and be yourself! And so what?
2. Don’t pick up unhealthy behavior — and if you do, eliminate it!
3. Do all the things you loved — always!
4. Forgive yourself — that’s a must!
5. Stay close to your friends and family — a man/woman who has no contact with their family is a rotten apple.
6. Work on yourself, and never stop working on yourself.
7. Self-reflect — every day!
8. Be grateful for what you accomplished.

Essentially, true love means that you have an unbreakable and unparalleled fondness and devotion for your boyfriend.

What are the signs of true love?

You care about this person unconditionally. A tell-tale sign that you’ve found true love is that you absolutely and undeniably adore your partner with no strings attached. In other words, no matter what circumstances may befall you and through good times as well as bad, you support and deeply care for this person. Unconditional love is at the very heart of what true love means and entails.

You fully accept your partner. An additional indicator of true love is that you understand and accept your partner for the person who he or she truly is. You’re not trying to change your mate, fix him or her and/or turn him or her into a different person. Rather, you fully accept, appreciate and adore your partner, flaws and all.

You can talk about anything. When you’ve found true love, it means that you can candidly and honestly discuss anything with this person. True love implies that you’re completely truthful with your mate, aren’t holding back different aspects of your past, and are able to fully open up to him or her. You share an intimacy that’s emotional as well as physical, and your loving connection is stronger because of your willingness and ability to be open and vulnerable around each other.

You’re completely yourself with this person. When you’ve found true love, you’re able to be totally authentic with your partner. You’re not pretending to be someone you’re not, feigning interests, passions, or pastimes, and/or acting in a way that doesn’t reflect the real you. Being yourself in your relationship is essential to experiencing true love.

We are a team. Thank you Mr. Toxic for showing what True Love really means. Without you, I would not find myself and love myself like none ever will.

And to others, never give hope, and stay your crazy self, there will be someone who will love you just the way you are!