Have you ever made the brave decision to change careers, become an entrepreneur, or maybe become a coach? You went to school, took the training, passed the exam, and received your diploma/certificate, but you still don’t feel ready to move forward. Are you the kind of person who feels like you need multiple certifications just to get started because THEN you’ll really know something and have something to offer?

I call this CGS…Can’t Get Started. If this is you, I want you to know you are not alone. Self-doubt, insecurity, and imposter syndrome are real things that hold many people back from doing amazing things. The good news is that these things and other mindset obstacles are things we will be working through in The Resilient Career Academy™ Group Coaching Membership program.

Contributing Factors

• Fear. There are all kinds of fear that contribute to this equation. Fear of failure, fear of success (yes, you can be afraid of something being so successful that you can’t keep up with it), fear of showing up and being seen, fear of looking stupid, fear of rejection. I’m sure you can think of a couple more on your own.
• Core Beliefs. As trauma survivors, this is one of the most challenging aspects of CPTSD. What you believe at your core influences everything you do. It influences how you view the world, yourself, and your capabilities. If you have a core belief that you are not enough or inadequate, the way you approach every task or opportunity is driven by that belief. You will either work extra hard to prove that core belief wrong (as in my fellow overachievers), or you will surrender to the belief by taking a posture of defeated powerlessness. I found processing traumatic memories to be child’s play compared to trying to change habitual core beliefs, but this is where the bang for the buck is.
• Overwhelm. Overwhelm is your nervous system’s way of protecting you. When you are outside of your window of tolerance, it starts to “freeze” things and shut them down so you can’t take any more on. I’ve discussed this in a previous blog: CPTSD in the Workplace: Overwhelm. In this article, I talked about how trauma is a big rock that takes up space in our capacity. When we have trauma symptoms, triggers, and emotional dysregulation daily that we have to manage, it takes away our capacity to manage other things. Core beliefs can also contribute to overwhelm. For example, when I take on a new thing, like coaching, I already feel inadequate because that is one of my core beliefs (one that I am actively working to replace), so to fight against that feeling of inadequacy, I will often over-commit to doing too many things at one time, which leads to overwhelm. At this point, I am pretty skilled at working myself out of overwhelm, but it can be quite a challenge at first.
• Focus. I will go on a limb by saying that most of us in a helping profession are pursuing this career to help people…I know it’s not for the money ;). That is not a big stretch. We have a mission…a calling…something driving us to help others. The challenge is that somewhere along the line, we have taken our eyes off the goal/mission/calling and started focusing on ourselves…our inexperience, shortcomings, lack of confidence, inadequacies, and how little we know. This might seem a little harsh, but the bottom line is…it’s not about us; it’s about them. Will we let those things stand in the way of giving people what they desperately need?

Well, that was uplifting, wasn’t it? [insert sarcasm here] That was the bad news, but the good news is that you can do something about it. There is hope.

“Action creates momentum, momentum creates confidence, and confidence welcomes more people into your world that you can serve.” — Stu McLaren

I love this quote by Stu McLaren, who is one of the most positive people you will ever hear. I highly recommend his Marketing Your Business podcast if you like to listen to podcasts. So, how can we create the action that brings momentum and creates confidence when the chains of trauma entangle us?

Action That Brings Momentum

• Refocus. Create a laser focus on your mission and the people you want to serve. Remember your “why.” Let everything else become blurry in the background. Let this focus start to drive you forward. Focus on who your ideal client/customer is and what they need. Listen to what they are saying on social media.
• Neutralize the Negativity. Our core beliefs drive our negative thoughts, which are habitual in nature. A two-pronged approach is needed to fully replace these negative core beliefs: 1) long-term: replace the core belief in therapy or coaching (takes some time to achieve), and 2) short-term: create a boundary on the habitual thought by putting it in a box whenever it comes up. This requires that you are aware of those habitually negative thoughts that always seem to trip you up.
• Break it Down. To overcome the overwhelm that keeps us frozen, we need to break down the tasks to be completed to reach our goal. You can’t eat an elephant in one bite. To have a goal like, I want to launch my coaching business is too big to take action on. Start by defining what the big rocks are…i.e., I need to figure out a name for my business, register it with my state, get coaching insurance, etc. You get the idea. Those are the big rocks. Now, break down the big rocks into smaller tasks…what is the next right step? Perhaps you need to research how to do some of these things. Personally, I would rather talk to other people who are doing what I want to do to find out what they are doing because it saves on overwhelmed by the internet.
• Manage Expectations. If you are doing something for the first time, everything will feel wonky. Wonky is a technical term for unsteady or shaky. This is NORMAL. It is OK to feel unsure of yourself on the first go. That’s not usually how it works. I do two things that help me: 1) I first remind myself that my initial try is a draft and everyone has to start somewhere, and 2) I remind myself that it is easier to edit (a draft) than to create (the draft). We cannot knock the ball out of the park on every swing we take, but getting a single doubles the value of a home run. This can be a difficult step for my perfectionist friends. Here is what I would challenge you with if you want to perfect something…perfect your ability to be OK with imperfection on the first draft.
• Cease Comparisons. Teddy Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” This is so true. I had to work through this several times in my coaching/membership journey when I realized I was comparing myself and my content to someone who had been in the business for 10–15 years. That is unrealistic because they have teams of people supporting them now, but when they first started, they were just as unsure as I am…and that is part of the learning process…and that is OK. This is the most important truth, and I want to make sure you get this if you get nothing else…YOU ARE AMAZING JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!!! There is only one of you, and only you can bring to the world what you have to offer. The world needs what you have, so don’t be afraid to show up as you are (perfectly imperfect) and serve others.

OK, my friends, that should give you enough to think about for one day. I would love to hear from you. What are the things that trip you up and keep you from getting started? How have you solved them?

As always, you do not have to walk this journey alone.

Contact me to schedule your free discovery call.

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Cyndi Bennett

Believer. Leader. Learner. Advocate. Writer. Speaker. Coach. Mentor. Triathlete. Encourager. Survivor.
 
Most of all, I am a fellow traveler on the rocky road called, Trauma Recovery. My mission is to minimize the effects of trauma for survivors in the workplace.