The word Trauma refers to a deeply distressing or disturbing experience that can have lasting effects on a person’s mental and emotional well-being. It can result from various situations or events, and everyone reacts differently to trauma.
Trauma – is an emotional or psychological response to very stressful, frightening, or distressing events. These events can happen at any age and may cause long-lasting harm. Definition from: Bing.com [Since you self-defined trauma above, you do not need to include this second definition.]
Trauma comes in different forms. There is the obvious physical trauma that refers to a person suffering a sudden injury caused by an accident like a car crash. Physical trauma heals quickly over time. Bones can be re-set and will heal. Bruises and cuts can be nasty, but most heal in time with medical attention.
Psychological or emotional trauma is a different kind of trauma where a person has been in a highly stressful situation, which causes a reaction. It can be from witnessing a horrific event or experience where the individual was subjected to harm in some way: for example being frightened, under threat or abused, ridiculed, harassed, or even rejected without any power to stop it.
Trauma can be caused by witnessing someone being harmed and being powerless to stop it.
Trauma can be caused by living for a long time in a traumatic environment like being a prisoner of war or living in an abusive home.
There is also racial trauma where an individual is subjected to racism for whatever reason, which causes a person mental or physical harm.
Our world is troubled, and trauma is a word we constantly hear all around us. It is on the news every day in some form. Go online or turn on your TV, and there will be a distressing event reported almost immediately from somewhere in the world. Trauma is everywhere and our world is hurting or in shock over events.
In all this negativity that surrounds us, we must focus on the good that is happening in our lives, otherwise we will feel overwhelmed.
I’m a survivor of CSA and witnessing horrific trauma. I suffered from most of the different types of trauma I described in this post before I reached puberty. My childhood was anything but a childhood and yet somehow, I am still alive. I survived where most people would not and even though my childhood is still haunting me, I’m doing okay but I also have periods when I am not okay. It is completely okay to be hurt sometimes when you have suffered child abuse.
It is important if you are a survivor like me and hurting that you try and seek professional help.
A counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist can help and guide you through your trauma reactions. A professional must be a good fit for you to be able to disclose very personal memories. Trauma from child abuse is something that is deeply distressing to talk about and when you do, you need to feel that the person you choose to reveal your trauma to, will comfort you and make you feel better or give you a way out of the proverbial “woods” and reach the sunshine.
I have a very skilled psychiatrist who specializes in trauma. I went through a lot of different mental health professionals before I found this person. Once we met and discussed what I wanted from her, I knew from her responses that she was the right person for me to reveal my past. It is not rude to ask a professional to tell you their credentials.
There are times when I have been in the “not okay” phase for a few weeks due to being triggered by traumatic memories from my childhood
My therapist works with me through the trigger which caused the way I am feeling. One of the first things she says to me is that all feelings are okay. All survivors react differently to traumatic events. Sometimes we lose sight of who we are when we are triggered, and we go to grounding techniques and breathing. Those work very well when traumatic events are something we have visited before and our bodies can shrug those away within hours or even a day. They help take the immediate sting out of the emotionally charged trauma memory. Sometimes, the reaction to a traumatic memory is not as simple as that and we stay traumatized for days and weeks after. The hurt is just too deep to simply go away by itself. This is when you need professional help to work through that pain and find a way to move back to your equilibrium.
The problem with being in “survival mode” becomes more so with everything that is happening around us, as we go about our daily lives. Once triggered and feeling traumatized a second and third trigger will make it so much more difficult to get back on your feet again. Sometimes, a survivor needs to acknowledge that the pain has to come out. So let it do just that. Let those tears come out and release the floodgates. That big “stone” called grief; you keep trying to swallow in your throat will not go away without those complex emotions being released. If those tears won’t come easily as is often the case for a survivor, then go do something real physical like boxing, running, or circuits – something that will get that heart pumping until you can do no more! That is sure to get those tears flowing as the adrenaline stops flowing with your body relaxing. It works for me every time! No matter how I feel, I manage to sob my heart out once I’ve exercised until I can do no more.
There is a song by the band: R.E.M, called “Everybody Hurts”. Music is very personal and can bring up lots of mixed feelings. For me, this particular song is an extremely sad song but I also think it is full of hope. It tells the listener to “hold on” and that is a message I want to say to all survivors. No matter how much you are hurting right now, there is hope and you are not alone. Just like the song dictates “You are not alone”. The song repeats this line over and over. When I am triggered and feeling weak emotionally, my brain keeps telling me that I am alone. That is far from the truth and I am sure if you are reading this, that is the case for you as well. As a survivor, I chose to cut my bio-family out of my life but since I left I have made so many friends on the way. I have met people who have shaped me into the person that I am today. I have good memories and happiness to draw on when I am triggered. I am sure you have too.
My advice is this: No matter how much you are hurting right now, life will get better. Like the song by R.E.M, I want you to hold on because you are not alone. You are incredibly strong to have come as far as you have. You are so much stronger than most people. You are a survivor! So hang in there, hold on, and find someone who you can talk to. Life is for living and being happy. My revenge on the people who abused me is that I am still alive in this world. I am no longer a sex toy to be used and ridiculed. I am someone who matters to a lot of people. I’ve always lived by the motto: Follow your heart and be happy” and a simple smile can make a huge difference to someone’s life. As survivors, we need to hold our heads up high and recognize that we as people are good enough just the way we are. We are strong enough to carry on and life does get better as we heal. There is a new sunrise, every day, and with that morning glow comes endless possibilities for a happy day. That starts with you thinking and focusing on what to make of it. Grab that opportunity with both hands and go out there, happy!
You have come a long way. Hold on and remember that you are not alone. You have got this!
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Elizabeth Woods grew up in a world of brutal sex offenders, murderers, and inconceivably neglectful adults. She suffered sexual abuse throughout her childhood and witnessed unspeakable events. Elizabeth survived in an environment where most people would not. She is now able to help other survivors heal from trauma through her writing and blogs. Elizabeth is passionate about spreading awareness of what it is like to survive after trauma. There is always hope.
Elizabeth is the author of several books and has written her memoir, telling her childhood story: The Sex-Offender’s Daughter: A True Story of Survival Against All Odds, available on Amazon Kindle. https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Offenders-Daughter-Story-Survival-Against-ebook/dp/B0BBSV97VF/?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_w=0pSdX&content-id=amzn1.sym.cf86ec3a-68a6-43e9-8115-04171136930a&pf_rd_p=cf86ec3a-68a6-43e9-8115-04171136930a&pf_rd_r=134-9913214-5397651&pd_rd_wg=MPpMc&pd_rd_r=d375a758-2d9b-4c6e-9aee-52c1f5a4e6f7&ref_=aufs_ap_sc_dsk
Elizabeth is also the author of “Living with Complex PTSD” and the Cedar’s Port Fiction series: “Saving Joshua”, “Protecting Sarah”, “Guarding Noah” and “Bringing Back Faith” available here:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CQRNST2B?binding=kindle_edition&qid=1711883073&sr=8-2&ref=dbs_dp_rwt_sb_pc_tkin
Thanks for this. Perfect timing for me.