As a trauma survivor, have you ever asked yourself why it seems so difficult to advance in your career when your peers are moving up without a problem? Have you ever felt like your boss doesn’t like or appreciate you? Have you ever felt like you don’t belong in the company you work for? Have you ever questioned why you even bother trying to advance your career?

I had these thoughts and more in my over twenty-year career in corporate America. I’ve fought to be recognized. I’ve been frustrated by leadership that could not see my brilliance. I walked around with a giant chip on my shoulder for a long time. I had no idea that most of these experiences were related to unprocessed trauma, but that’s what they were.

Today, I want to explore the common roadblocks that trauma survivors face regarding career development and how we can diminish these obstacles.

Common Roadblocks

Safety. I have written a lot about safety because it is the foundation of recovery. Safety is a biological priority, so you cannot focus on anything else if you do not feel safe. All of your mental and emotional capacity will be devoted to establishing safety.

Regulating Emotions. As trauma survivors, this is one of the symptoms that define CPTSD. The struggle to regulate emotions is real. While it can be extremely frustrating on a personal level, it can also be detrimental on a relational level with coworkers and leaders.

Limiting Core Beliefs. This is also one of the symptoms that define CPTSD. We struggle with beliefs about ourselves. We see ourselves as diminished, defeated, worthless, powerless, shameful, guilty, or a failure. Have you ever asked yourself, “what is wrong with me?” The issue is not in our ability to do things to develop our careers but rather in our belief that we are unable or incapable of doing what it takes to be successful. For some, we don’t see ourselves as worthy or deserving of being promoted. These are internal limitations that we have placed on ourselves.

Managing Relationships. It is no surprise that this is also on the list of defining symptoms of CPTSD because, at its core, it is a relational trauma. The people that were supposed to care for and protect us as children were the ones that wounded us. Understandably, we have difficulties trusting people and getting close to them.

Identity Confusion. According to Erik Ericson’s stages of psychosocial development, our identity is formulated in adolescence. During that time, teens explore their uniqueness and who they are based on their personality, skills, experiences, and talents. When we go through childhood trauma, our survival strategies can compromise our identity formation. For example, blending into our environment and with those around us may be safer than understanding our individuality, or we may become who our abusers want us to be to survive. We are so busy trying to survive that we don’t have time to focus on what skills, abilities, and desires we have. When asked what I wanted to be growing up, I would say, “Free.” I didn’t have any thoughts about what career I wanted to have because I was totally focused on surviving.

Overcoming Obstacles of Career Development

1. Establish Safety — Safety is always the first priority on the healing journey. We must understand the biology of safety or what happens in our bodies when we are feeling threatened. I am developing an online course on safety that will come out in the next month or so. Sign up for my email list if you are interested in the course or other resources.
2. Manage and Track Triggers — Emotional dysregulation in the workplace can be crippling for us, so we need to learn to manage our triggers to help us stay without our window of tolerance. I’ve created a free Trigger Tracker for you to use to help you do that.
3. Challenge Limiting Core Beliefs — If establishing safety and managing triggers are the appetizer of the meal, this step is the meat and potatoes. This is where the hard work happens. Not only do we need to identify the limiting core beliefs, but we all have to create a plan for changing them. In my experience, this is where having a coach comes in handy. A coach can help you connect the challenges you are experiencing in the workplace and the limiting core beliefs holding you back and help you create a plan for changing those core beliefs.
4. Start Building Supportive Relationships — This step can be terrifying for trauma survivors. I get that. It is important to start small. Perhaps you can start learning to build interpersonal trust with your therapist or coach. Not everyone is trustworthy and has earned the right to hear your truth. As you grow your ability to manage and track your triggers, you will learn to trust your threat detection system.
5. Get to Know Yourself — Take some time to get to know yourself. Discover your talents, abilities, and what you like and don’t like. Take ownership of your skills and abilities. You are not being overly proud or arrogant by saying, “I’m good at …” If you can’t figure out what you are good at, ask someone close to you what they think you are good at. Get comfortable receiving positive comments about yourself. I didn’t realize I could write until my therapist told me multiple times how powerful my journaling was. It took me many times of hearing that to be able to receive those words and claim my ability/confidence as a writer.
6. Invest in Yourself — This will seem foreign for many trauma survivors. We have spent most of our lives taking care of other people and making sure they get their needs met, but now it’s time to invest in ourselves. Do you even realize that you can have needs, preferences, and desires? I didn’t for the longest time. I was puzzled when my therapist challenged me in that area and thought I was selfish. You are worthy of the time, energy, and money you invest in healing. In AA, they say, “It works if you work it, so work it…you’re worth it.”

As we end our time together, I would love to hear from you. Did this resonate with you? Are there other areas of struggle in your career that you are looking for answers on?

As always, you don’t have to walk this healing journey alone. If you want to work with me, you can schedule your complimentary discovery session by clicking here. You’ve got this! I believe in you.

Please sign-up for my mailing list for the latest content, tools, and course offerings.

Here is a FREE resource to help you manage your emotions and expand your window of tolerance:

Trigger Tracker Template — helps you keep track of the triggers in your workplace and to plan the coping strategies you will use to get through the experience.

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

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Cyndi Bennett

Believer. Leader. Learner. Advocate. Writer. Speaker. Coach. Mentor. Triathlete. Encourager. Survivor.
 
Most of all, I am a fellow traveler on the rocky road called, Trauma Recovery. My mission is to minimize the effects of trauma for survivors in the workplace.