Healing Through Parenting is a trauma-informed approach to parenting that helps reduce misbehavior and increase cooperation using just 4 simple steps. Healing Through Parenting focuses on addressing the underlying emotions that drive behavior in children, as well as identifying if certain behaviors are triggers for the adult based on past trauma. We all have a choice to heal our trauma, or hide from the pain and pass it along to our children. Being abusive is a choice, and if you have made the choice to heal from an abusive past, there is no turning back.
By understanding how our brains work, how triggers send us into survival mode, we can teach children how to behave without the use of punishments or rewards. Instead of punishing and rewarding behavior, this technique focuses on what happens in the child’s brain that drives behavior and uses that information to teach emotional regulation and self-control. Emotions drive behavior, and by teaching children emotional literacy they can understand how to regulate their emotions and in turn develop self-control. Learning emotional regulation in childhood creates a strong foundation that helps all people succeed and thrive throughout their lives.
Emotions Drive Behavior
Children communicate through their emotions, and Healing Through Parenting is all about teaching you how to decipher the emotional language that drives all human behavior. If you understand what a child’s emotions are telling you, you will create a safe space between you and your child so you don’t have to keep resorting to old parenting techniques that aim to control and manipulate. If there is a behavior that your child does that triggers an emotional response, and you find yourself yelling, lashing out, or resorting to punishments to control their behavior, your feelings are a signal that your inner child is begging to be reparented. You have the chance to heal yourself using this method, and in doing so, create the safe and loving relationship with your child that you may not have gotten in your childhood.
As a parent, your main focus is to keep your child safe and healthy, this means they need to cooperate and listen. They need to eat their veggies, do their homework, take a bath, put their shoes on, and cooperate with diaper changes. You might feel frustrated that the tools you have at your disposal aren’t working, and if you are reading this, you are likely looking for a new tool to try. Instead of chasing, fighting, punishing, or rewarding, you have the option to use the situation to heal your own childhood trauma, instead of passing it along to your children.
Healing Through Parenting helps reduce conflict and tension in your relationship with your children. There is no need for timeout, sticker charts, taking away privileges, or using bribes to control behavior. This might seem impossible, however, all it requires is a shift in your mindset and learning a new way to function in your relationship with your children. This does not work overnight, it takes time and practice to implement lasting changes. You will notice some differences right away as you and your child learn new ways to communicate and interact with each other.
There are three major concepts within Healing Through Parenting that all work together to create more moments of joy, and fewer moments of frustration.
The Color Spectrum of Emotions explains how our brains and emotions dictate and influence our behavior.
The 4 Steps to Emotional Regulation takes that information and puts it into a simple process for how to handle your child’s misbehavior in any situation.
And the 3Cs, Connection, Composure, and Consistency, are the glue that holds the whole process together.
In addition, several tools such as Visual Schedules, Visual Timers, Love Links, The Safe Spot, Deep Breathing, and the “You Can Handle It!” Series, work together to create safety and connection within the relationship. This safety and connection is the foundation that allows this process to work so you can heal your inner child while you raise your children.
Read more at https://www.traumauntied.com/core-concepts/htp