Are You Ready to Release Resentments?
Dealing with conflict is probably at the bottom of most people‘s lists. It’s uncomfortable and requires vulnerability. We all carry dysfunction and unresolved issues, and I venture to guess that MOST of us have not had positive role models growing up showing us how to...
Protecting The Children
“Mom, Dad doesn’t love you… or Spenser. He only loves me.” “That’s not true, sweetie, why do you say that?” “He doesn’t treat you nice.” I looked down at my 5-year-old boy. His innocent eyes stared up at me while he declared his truth. Inside, I fell apart. I knew my...
When a Victim Doesn’t Know She’s a Victim: Survivor’s Guilt, the “Fawn” Response, Trauma Bonds, and Setting Boundaries
“I can’t forgive myself.” Daily, I uttered this phrase. When I said it, my loved ones were concerned. “But what do you need to forgive yourself for?” They’d ask, perplexed. For them, there was nothing I’d done that needed forgiving. The voice in my head screamed,...
Being a Real Adult Means Choosing Yourself First
Putting Myself First? You’re Kidding, Right?! I had to step back recently from things that weren’t serving me anymore. Disappointing other people was so hard that I immediately wanted to backpedal on my choice. For many of us with childhood trauma, making changes that...