How to Keep a Friend – Managing Conflict

How to Keep a Friend – Managing Conflict

Conflict panics me. Okay? There…I said it. I am the first to run for cover at the smell of conflict. Why? Because childhood trauma taught me to confuse the two. To me, having a conflict with someone means trauma. And so…avoiding conflict becomes the goal...
How to Choose the Right Kind of Friends

How to Choose the Right Kind of Friends

Survivors have been damaged by relationships and relationships are the pathway toward healing. What a terrible statement. The thing that did us so much harm is the thing we must have in order to get well. This is the dilemma for a survivor of trauma. In addition,...
A Change of Affection Part II – How A Trauma Bond is Formed

A Change of Affection Part II – How A Trauma Bond is Formed

How A Trauma Bond is Formed Scaly grey snake heads with the dead black eyes of a reptile weaved back and forth. Bright red tongues darted to and fro. They covered the Uhaul. I couldn’t look away. Out on my daily walk with Tiny, the chihuahua, I pulled my wheelchair...
Boundaries and Anger

Boundaries and Anger

Anger is a natural consequence of living through childhood trauma, the leading cause of complex post-traumatic stress disorder. As children, many survivors were hurt by people who needed to care for them but didn’t and used them for their purposes. One of the...