Why do you lose yourself in relationships? What is codependency?
The Silence That Takes You Away From Yourself Countless African households teach their children, from a very young age, to refrain from speaking. Phrases like “Just keep quiet,” or “Don’t cause trouble” echo through our lives, passed down as wisdom from those who came...
The paradoxes of flourishing
I once dated a man with borderline personality disorder. At one point, he told me that it broke his heart to see what I was not, what I hadn’t become, how small my life was, how I had squandered my brains and looks. This unsolicited mourning of a fantastical me (a...
Shattered Reflections: How Truth Demolishes Family Illusions
Summer is coming, and the county fair will be a highlight as always. As a child, I enjoyed the Ferris wheel, the smell of kettle corn, and cinnamon buns. The Fun Zone delivered excitement with barkers calling us to games rigged just enough to keep us hooked –...
Not Driving Home for Holidays
Christmas, or other types of family reunions, can be tricky in the best of families. For survivors of childhood abuse, trekking home for the holidays is nothing short of a draining and re-traumatising return to the scene of the crime. It’s an exercise in appeasement...
When the Body Keeps Score, but Blames the Mother
In the aftermath of childhood sexual abuse, a painful pattern often emerges: survivors direct blame toward nonoffending mothers. It sounds unfair because it often is. It also has a biological and developmental logic that does not care about fairness. Understanding...Follow, Like, & Share!
