Over the past couple of weeks, I have been talking about having flashbacks in the workplace, how to get grounded, and how to clean up the mess afterward.
If you haven’t noticed, that is a lot of work and can be extremely exhausting. Additionally, there is deeper work in therapy to process the trauma activated by the trigger. All that emotional work can leave you feeling like you’ve been hit by a bus…at least, that is how I experience it. It’s like a therapy hangover.
In this healing journey, there are intense seasons of growth and also seasons of rest. Many trauma survivors, including myself, are most uncomfortable with the season of rest.
There may be many reasons for that. Some may feel like they will lose momentum if they pause. Some are uncomfortable with the quiet because it was a sign of impending danger during their trauma. Some may not think they deserve a break or haven’t worked hard enough. The reason codes are endless.
During my healing journey, I worked through several of those reason codes and learned an important lesson…healing requires rest and self-care. This is not a sprint, but rather, it is an ultra-marathon. We need to pace ourselves and tend to our “sore” spots; otherwise, our health will fall apart, and we will not be able to move forward.
In the wake of a flashback, self-care is essential to help you regain a sense of safety and well-being. No amount of self-criticism, blaming, or shaming will help you regain that sense of safety and well-being you long for.
Through trial and error, I discovered that the effectiveness of self-care practices correlates to the age you were triggered back to in the flashback. In my case, I was triggered back to the womb, so the things that made my younger parts feel comforted were rocking in a glider, listening to lullabies, taking a slow, meditative walk, and a spiritual visualization of having that little part climb up into Jesus’ lap for comfort.
You may have different self-care routines that help you recover a sense of safety, but if you don’t, here are ten tips for practicing self-care after a flashback:
- Find a Safe Space: If possible, move to a quiet, safe, and comfortable space where you can regain your composure and feel secure.
- Self-Care Routine: After the immediate distress has subsided, return to your self-care routine, which may include exercise, relaxation techniques, and other activities that promote emotional and physical well-being.
- Self-Compassion: Be gentle and compassionate with yourself. Remind yourself that what you experienced was a memory or a flashback and not a current threat. Use positive and reassuring self-talk.
- Stay Hydrated: Sip on water or herbal tea to help soothe your nervous system and provide comfort.
- Comfort Objects: Use comforting objects, such as a soft blanket, stuffed animal, or a cherished item, to offer emotional support and comfort.
- Connect with Your Senses: Engage your senses to help anchor you in the present moment. Listen to soothing music, touch comforting objects, or use calming scents like lavender or chamomile.
- Reach Out for Support: If you have a support system, reach out to a trusted friend or family member who understands your situation. Sharing your experience with someone you trust can be comforting.
- Reflect and Journal: Reflect on your experience and journal your thoughts and feelings to help process the event. Writing can provide clarity and a sense of release.
- Positive Visualization: Visualize a serene and safe place in your mind. Imagine yourself in this peaceful setting and focus on the sensory details, like the colors, sounds, and scents, to help create a sense of calm.
- Progress Over Perfection: Understand that reclaiming serenity is a process, and it’s okay to have moments of discomfort or emotional distress. Celebrate the progress you make and acknowledge that healing is an ongoing journey.
Remember that self-care is a highly individualized process, and what works best for you may differ from what works for someone else. It’s important to create a self-care routine that meets your unique needs and preferences.
I would love to hear what self-care routines work best for you.
As always, you do not have to walk this journey alone. Contact me to schedule your free discovery call.
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Believer. Leader. Learner. Advocate. Writer. Speaker. Coach. Mentor. Triathlete. Encourager. Survivor.
Most of all, I am a fellow traveler on the rocky road called, Trauma Recovery. My mission is to minimize the effects of trauma for survivors in the workplace.
Really helpful advice. Thank you, Cyndi! I have also found that journaling at the end of each day helps me process the flashbacks I had throughout the day with a clearer head and calms me down before bed.
Natalie, I’m glad you found it helpful. Perhaps it would be helpful if you got my FREE Workplace Trigger Tracker tool to help you create an awareness of your workplace triggers and the coping strategies you are using to manage them. I love that you are journaling…that is a favorite of mine, as well. I wish you the best!!
I am currently dealing with this at work. Thank you so much for sharing.
Emily, I am so sorry you are dealing with this right now. It is so hard. Please do take gentle care of yourself.
I just finished The Breathing Cure, by Patrick McKeown. I had read his first book, The Oxygen Advantage (not the most fitting title) several years ago and committed to nasal breathing at virtually all times with rare (unavoidable) exceptions, and Anxiety Free (his second book, I think) a week ago.
I’ve noticed significant benefits of nasal breathing from the beginning and am now ‘stepping it up’ with greater understanding and discerning experience with light, slow, deep breathing (rather than hard/heavy, fast, shallow–anxious–breathing). It’s now near the top of my self-care list. The list of health benefits/harm reductions is long. Highly recommend all three books (though TBC is the most comprehensive).