Honestly, I thought that creative spark within might have abandoned me for good
This hasn’t happened to me for quite some time now; inspiration is tugging at my brain, heart, and soul, prompting me to begin writing this vision I’ve been entertaining. Honestly, I thought that creative spark within might have abandoned me for good. Congratulations to so many of you, the honest-to-God multitudes of such intelligent voices I read on the published pages at the CPTSD Foundations website, CPTSDfoundation.org. It simply never fails to amaze me to see the insights, the intelligence, and the battle-hardened strengths read and felt in a survivor’s expression of memories and struggles endured in life. Cut me some slack if I sound corny here or sappy, but I’ve wanted to say this for a long time.
As a community of survivors, I have to give enormous credit to the sheer bravery shown by all who dig down within and dare to expose their painful life’s journey. Whether it is in a private one-on-one expression with a counselor at the Foundation, a friend, or a shouting out to the world our message by writing for a known, as well as an unknown audience.
A life-learned fear of self-exposure exists on the other end of the spectrum
Trauma survivors want to share, for all to hear our voices of a life gone wrong. I think it is, at least at some level. We want to be, and the world needs us to be, teachers. The struggles of a life’s resurrection, working, changing, growing, and slowly coming into being… our stories need to be told! Speaking for myself, I share because we are all, as survivors, a voice with a developing insight, the voice of humankind that knows the horrors… of abuse. Yes, it is an avenue of healing to share and expose, but more often than not, the existential wisdom coming from those who have endured hell… is breathtaking. Again, what I read in the blogs never fails to amaze me. Courage! With that said, a life-learned fear of self-exposure exists on the other end of the spectrum. Therein we see the courage on the pages of the articles and the bravery of those who come and tell their secret story privately to a counselor for the first time.
Inspiration pushed me to comment on how I witness so many smart cookies in those who are survivors, not just at the Foundation but in general. Not everyone of course. My own life kept me somewhat dull of thought in my early life of adulthood and most certainly childhood. Repression of feelings tends to lower the mental operations to a simmer for some, and that was me. Somewhere along the line, I got a flame-thrower put to my arss, and I pushed myself to try to become aware; now a life’s dedication. I think we need to be teachers. The world of humankind will forever remain ‘painfully’ ignorant and driven to act out, and may well anyway until people who have endured the painful wrongs of trauma and abuse stand up and speak up through teaching. To be taught by the emotion-filled stories of ‘authentic expressions’ from survivors. The stories and the insanities endured are right there for the vast majority of the human race to now hear and witness… from us! We can show the world what not to do when raising children and why not. This, I now see, is my inspirational push. Damn it, it hurts me beyond understanding to see children abused! I literally can’t handle witnessing it, and there is far too much of it. We must be teachers simply by voicing and sharing our emotional world of pain. And it is healing at the same time.
When we speak our truth, we are engaging in authenticity. Simply put, authenticity heals us. Hiding sustains our inner struggles. Speak out, in safety, but help change the world… as we are all trying to do at the Foundation. Please come join us at CPTSDFOUNDATION.org
Photo by Tobias Tullius on Unsplash
Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.
My name is Jesse Donahue. In 2015, at the age of 58, I took up writing, and since then I’ve written two novels, poems, and essays about my journey struggling with CPTSD. The essays, 50+, were an adjunct to journaling in therapy to amplify my learning and self-understanding.
My published writings with the CPTSD foundation: *The Hidden Bugaboo, The Beganning, Twelve Days Without Coffee, Learned Helplessness, Cast Out of Eden by Toxic Shame, The Crumbs and The Banquet, What an Outside Appearance may Not Show, Obedience to the Light – Bombs or Love, Stepping Into the Shoes of Who You Are, Personal Honor, Integrity, Dignity, Honesty…
*Type a keyword into the foundations search engine… example: Bugaboo
Recommended Reading List: 1. *To Have Or To Be, By Erich Fromm. 2. Civilization and its Discontents, By Sigmund Freud. 3. The Drama of the Gifted Child, By Alice Miller. 4. (required) Reading: Escape From Freedom, By Erich Fromm
