In preparing the blog this week, I thought about the outrage survivors often feel. We are told to “move on,” “forgive,” “hurt people hurt people,” “why can’t you just get over it?” and a host of other minimizing comments. The outrage is there for a reason, and you should listen to it. Your soul is talking to you and you need to hear what it has to say.
Instead of seeing outrage and its symptoms; anger, fury, and rage as signs that something is wrong with you. The opposite is true. Something is very, very, right with you. You are responding to indescribable pain correctly. You should be outraged at what has happened. Love has been offended. The love that should exist between parent and child. The love one should have for oneself. The love that belongs within the bonds of a family. The love within friendships. The love between husband and wife. The love that says: you belong, you are welcomed, you are special, you deserve respect because you exist. Love is outraged. Anger is a byproduct, but it is love that knows things should have been different.
When I feel overwhelmed by the toll trauma has taken from my life, I am outraged. It is outrageous that anyone would feel they have the right to inflict such pain on another human being. I am right to be angry and outraged because I have experienced a traumatic wound that changed the entire trajectory of my life. Losses that can never be recovered, relationships that will never be repaired, accomplishments that will never occur. But at the very center of all of those feelings, past the by-products of anger and rage sits the very heart of the matter—love. And it is the love I want to listen to. And it is love by which I want to live my life.
I want to honor my pain and listen to its outrage by turning trauma on its head. My anger and rage become a springboard and instead of tearing me apart, it drives me toward love. Love of myself— that inspires me to heal. Love of the world— that encourages me to add something good to it. Love of others—causes me to reach out in friendship. This kind of love triumphs over evil. This kind of love puts wings to outrage and does not allow the abusers and narcissists to win. Love is so outraged, that it urges us to resist the darkness and do the opposite of what was done. Embrace love’s outrage. Then you’ll defy trauma and embrace…joy!
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Rebekah Brown, a native of the south, now resides in the Great American West. Surviving a complicated and abusive family system makes her unique writing style insightful as well as uplifting. Rebekah is the proud mother of two and grandmother of four.
