One of the questions I get from trauma survivors is whether they are really capable of being a leader. The short answer is an unequivocal “YES, of course.” There are several things that trauma survivors should pay attention to if they want to be good, effective leaders.

What does it mean to be a good leader?

According to an article by Walden University, there are ten qualities that make a good leader.

  1. They communicate clearly.
  2. They are passionate about their work.
  3. They don’t care about being popular.
  4. They keep their minds open.
  5. They work for their employees.
  6. They are positive and encouraging.
  7. They respect others.
  8. They build relationships.
  9. They lead by example.
  10. They never stop learning.

If you are a leader, I would highly recommend reading this article. Whether or not we’ve experienced good leadership, most of us would agree that these are the qualities we expect from a good leader. While these qualities seem relatively simple and straightforward, there are predictable areas where a leader with a trauma history may struggle.

The impact of trauma on leadership qualities

In my article entitled, “Managing CPTSD Symptoms in the Workplace — Part 1”, I highlighted three specific CPTSD-related symptoms that cause significant impairment in the workplace: 1) problems in affect regulation; 2) beliefs about oneself as diminished, defeated, or worthless, accompanied by feelings of shame, guilt, or failure related to the traumatic event; and 3) difficulties in sustaining relationships and in feeling close to others.

Affection regulation. “Affect regulation is the ability of an individual to modulate their emotional state in order to adaptively meet the demands of their environment.” (psychologytools.com) Fundamentally this is about staying within our window of tolerance and not allowing ourselves to get too high or too low.

As trauma survivors, we often have hairpin triggers when it comes to detecting a threat in our environment (internal/external), which causes us to be easily hyper or hypo-aroused. When we are outside our window of tolerance, our brains are offline, making it challenging to communicate clearly, learn, keep an open mind, be positive and encouraging, and be respectful of others. We are in survival mode, and the only thing on our minds is our safety.

Beliefs about oneself. Many of us high-functioning, overachieving trauma survivors become really good at what we do, but the thing that drives us is the underlying belief that we are diminished, defeated, or worthless… that we are not enough. Most of us have heard about Imposter Syndrome. “Imposter Syndrome can be defined as a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success.” (Harvard Business Review) For the trauma survivor, this is Imposter Syndrome on steroids.

When we invest a great deal of our emotional energy in overcoming that nagging voice inside our head, we are not working for our employees, and we do care what other people think about us. We are desperately looking for outside evidence that how we feel about ourselves is not how other people see us.

Sustaining relationships. I believe one of the most detrimental impacts trauma has on survivors is our ability to establish and maintain relationships. When we consider that CPTSD is, at its core, a relational trauma, it is understandable why we would be impacted in this way. I don’t think people outside of the trauma community genuinely understand how this affects us in everyday life. When people (could be anybody, even those closest to us) are seen as a potential threat to our safety, it is extremely difficult to trust others, build relationships, or ask for help. Furthermore, if we heal in community and the people of the community are seen as a threat, our ability to heal may be constrained. As a result, we may feel alone in our struggle and that we are the only ones.

The Good News

Before you start thinking that being a leader as a trauma survivor is impossible, I want you to know there is some good news…trauma does not have to define you. You can overcome the effects of trauma on your ability to lead. I would offer the following suggestions:

Start by being self-led. As leaders, we should set an example for what we expect of our teams, which means before we manage others, we need to manage ourselves. We need to be intentional about how we manage our trauma symptoms. Contrary to popular belief, time does not heal all wounds. We must know ourselves, our stressors, and our triggers and actively, thoughtfully, and intentionally manage them.

If you are already in a leadership position or are just starting, start where you are. Review the qualities of a good leader above and assess where you have development opportunities. EVERYONE has development opportunities, even people without trauma. You are not a bad or defective leader because you have trauma, but you may have some distinct challenges to work through because of the trauma. This is to be expected, and it can absolutely be overcome. By investing in ourselves as leaders, we are investing in our teams by giving them better leaders.

Utilize your trauma survivor superpowers. Perhaps you never thought about anything positive coming out of your trauma experiences, but I don’t think we give ourselves enough credit for the skills we built to survive those experiences. Below are some skills I consider to be superpowers for trauma survivors.

Hypervigilance. Most trauma survivors I know can immediately read a room within the first few seconds of entering it. This is called hypervigilance. Hypervigilance is a state of increased alertness. While it can be annoying when we see threats that may not be there, it can also be a gift. Hypervigilance as a leader helps us sense when something is “not right” with our employees or the team’s chemistry. Hypervigilance helps us identify and mitigate potential risk factors that could negatively affect our team.

Sensitivity. As trauma survivors, we are tuned into our external environment and the needs of the people we lead. We can easily see struggling people because we, too, have struggled. As leaders, we can provide the compassion and encouragement we needed when we were struggling. There is something really powerful about a leader being willing to share their lived experience to provide hope and encouragement to their employee.

Resilience. According to the American Psychological Association, resilience is “the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially through mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility and adjustment to external and internal demands.” This is a hot topic for companies today. They are asking how they can build resilience in their workforce. Surviving trauma has infused you with resilience, believe it or not. The fact that you coped with and survived the trauma you experienced indicates your resilience. What better way is there to teach resilience than by leading by example? We have the ability and opportunity to teach this valuable skill because we learned it the hard way.

Courage. Merriam-Webster defines courage as the “mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.” As a trauma survivor, you have already proven your courage by making it through difficult situations. Now, as a leader, you can lead your employees through today’s stressful times for organizations across the globe. “A courageous leader guides their staff without stamping out creativity, they lead by example, and they stand at the helm of the company, giving everyone behind them the confidence to do their jobs to the best of their ability.” (wework.com)

Conclusion

I am coming full circle in this article by emphatically declaring that trauma survivors can absolutely be great leaders. It will require you to overcome predictable challenges to develop good leadership qualities, but overcoming obstacles will be nothing new for you.

Becoming self-led and prioritizing the management of our trauma symptoms will enable us to develop the qualities that make a good leader. Additionally, understanding how to leverage our trauma survivor superpowers for our advantage may result in significant career advancement opportunities.

I am going to leave you with two final thoughts. The first thought is a saying I learned from Alcoholics Anonymous early in my career: “It works if you work it, so work it, you’re worth it.” You ARE worthy of the investment into yourself to make you a better leader. As you grow, your teams and employees will grow as well. If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for them.

The second thought is a quote about leadership by Lisa Cash Hanson:

Leaders lead. Be leaders who lead well.