In October, we have been exploring together emotional wellness and emotional intelligence during emotional wellness awareness month. During these stressful days of the COVID 19 pandemic, talking about this subject is even more vital than ever before.

Being emotionally well does not mean you cannot have bad days. Of course, you may. However, a good portion of the time, emotionally well, people keep it together.

This article will focus on tying up loose ends in our discussion and examining how you can improve your emotional wellness.

Feeling Emotionally Well

The definition of emotional wellness says it all when it states it is the ability to handle life’s stresses and adapt to them successfully.

Your emotional wellness can affect your ability to carry out all your everyday activities and change your relationships. How you react to your experiences will change over time, and your emotional wellness will change with it.

The National Institutes of Health offers the following strategies for improving your emotional health.

Brighten your outlook. Those who try to look on the brighter side of life tend to be more emotionally well and have fewer negative emotions. These emotionally well people can bounce back from difficulties quickly, a quality known as resilience. Holding onto the positives in life and learning to appreciate them is vital to achieving emotional wellness.

Reduce your stress. In the modern world today, everyone feels stressed all the time. Short, stressful events can be healthy and give you energy when you need it. However, long-term stress, a condition called chronic stress, become harmful after a time, and are not helpful. It is vital to learn ways to cope with stress, and this will boost your resilience.

Get good sleep. It is arduous to fit everything that is expected of us in one day. Too many adults sacrifice their sleep, and that affects both their mental and physical health. Adequate sleep is critical to every human’s well-being so that we can think quicker and clearer when negotiating our modern world. Take the steps you need to make certain you get regular, quality sleep.

Learn to cope with loss. It is critical to learn healthy ways to help you survive difficult times well. When someone dies, your world changes forever, and there is no wrong way to mourn that loss. Allow yourself time and room to grieve but make sure to take your grief to your friends and family so they can help you cope. While you are in mourning, you are not mentally unhealthy. Indeed, being capable of acknowledging your grief is a sign you are in touch with your emotions.

Strengthen your social connections. Scientists have found that our links to others have a powerful effect on our emotional and physical health. Whether they are intimate partners, family, friends, or other social contacts, social connections will influence your biology and enhance your well-being. It is critical that you seek out social connections and build relationships to be mentally healthy and well.

Practice mindfulness. You read a lot about mindfulness in articles on the CPTSD Foundation blog and for a good reason. Mindfulness is simple yet vital to gaining and maintaining mental wellness. The ancient practice of mindfulness helps you remain in the present and makes you aware of your own thoughts and feelings, plus what is going on around you. Mindfulness means guiding your life instead of going on autopilot and allowing life to guide you.

Ten Things Emotionally Well People Never Do

Obviously, being emotionally well means many things and has several aspects.  While running their day-to-day lives, it isn’t only the things that emotionally well people do that matter, but also what they do not do.

Below are ten things that emotionally well never do.

Emotionally Well People Fight with Their Heart and Their Head.

People who are emotionally well can get in touch with their emotions and care about other’s feelings as well. They are also comfortable talking about their emotions. However, emotionally well, people know that feelings don’t always equal facts. These folks tend to situations through a logical lens and understand why they feel the way they do. Emotionally well, people can do a lot of introspection to understand why they think the way they do. This ability to calmly think through a problem makes emotionally well people stand out in a crowd, and it enhances their interpersonal relationships, career choices, happiness, and personal peace.

Emotionally Well People Don’t Forget to Balance Their Lives.

Emotionally well people look at life from a balanced and positive viewpoint, yet they are not overly unrealistic in their optimism. These folks tend to be happy and prosperous because they recognize the good in others and forgive the flaws in others. Emotionally well people make the best out of difficult situations and choose to learn from their hardships instead of being taken down by them. They use their sense of humor and understand what they can and cannot control their lives.

Emotionally Well People Understand Their Inner Motives.

Emotionally well, people understand the complex chain reaction that triggers them to an emotional reaction. These folks can also explain to others why they are experiencing certain feelings without blaming someone else. They never practice being emotionally dishonest and do not withhold information or lie to others about how they are feeling. Also, emotionally healthy people also do not minimize or exaggerate their emotions.

Emotionally Healthy People Do Not React Rashly.

Instead of reacting emotionally well, people give well-thought-out responses to stress or battles. People who are emotionally healthy learn to act proactively in their responses to triggers. These folks learn how to be calm and relax in instances where emotionally unhealthy people experience panic and fear. Emotionally well, people filter their reactions through their reasoning abilities to manage stress. Highly emotionally well, people learn not to make decisions when they are hurt, angry, or scared. Instead, they wait until they get into a better mental state to make a better decision from a happier state of mind.

Emotionally Well People Do Not Focus Only on Themselves

While emotionally well people do set aside time for themselves, they are empathetic toward others’ needs. These folks can recognize the needs of others and the world from the lens of others’ shoes without losing themselves in the process. Emotionally well, people do not attack, judge, criticize, invalidate, lecture, or blame others. They will also not analyze others when they come to them to share their feelings and life stories. Jealousy over a loved one’s success is foreign to their way of life.

Emotionally Healthy People Do Not Embrace Negativity

Emotionally well, people are not overrun by their feelings of fear, guilt, worry, shame, or any other negative emotions. They do not give, nor do they receive, manipulation. Instead, emotionally well, folks do not allow power to motivate them; instead, they allow their goals and desires to do so. Emotionally healthy people are motivated and self-reliant, plus they are not afraid to push out of their comfort zone.

Emotionally Well People Do Not Allow Others to Get Under Their Skin

Emotionally mature people are resilient and will agree to disagree. They do not internalize failure. Emotionally well people do not dwell on the past, no matter how traumatic, and focus instead on the present and the future. Emotionally healthy individuals do not hold onto self-destructive belief systems and negative self-talk. They refuse to be victims or and if they do have a pity party, it is short-lived and ends quickly. Instead of focusing on their weaknesses, people who are emotionally well, concentrate on their abilities and strengths.

Emotionally Well People Do Not Avoid New Experiences

Emotionally well folks are not afraid of new experiences, ideas, or meeting new people. They are not afraid of learning or of having what they believe challenged. Emotionally well people are curious and open-minded and have friends from all walks of life. These folks understand they are not always right and have the humility to admit it. Even when an emotionally well person disagrees with an idea, they will not react solely emotionally but instead will respond with a thoughtful response.

Emotionally Well People Use “I” Statements

People with emotional wellness have excellent verbal and non-verbal communication skills. They can use their listening skills and manage conflict better, allowing for better and stronger relationships. Instead of using “you” statements when speaking to someone when expressing their emotions to others, they use “I” statements. “You” statements usually do not reveal the person’s actual feelings but can be accusations instead, so using “I” statements such as, “I feel I am not being heard.”

Emotionally Well People Do Not Become Bitter

Many people do not take responsibility for their emotions and instead blame others for how they are feeling. This occurs because many folks never grow up emotionally to the point where they can say they are responsible for their feelings and emotions. Emotionally well people are not afraid of a challenge, nor do they throw in the towel when they realize they have gone wrong. Instead, they make adjustments and work on solutions to their obstacles. Instead of becoming bitter over their disappointments and problems, emotionally well people become proactive in their reactions.

In Closing

We hope you have learned a great deal about emotional intelligence and wellness from this series. We enjoy bringing these pieces to you to enhance your lives and encourage you to be the best you can.

We enjoy your comments and will answer them to the best of our abilities as soon as we can.

We should all strive for better emotional wellness as it can be the difference between a life of healthy relationships and self-love or a life filled with defeat and loneliness.

“The damage and invisible scars of emotional abuse are very difficult to heal because memories are imprinted on our minds and hearts and it takes time to be restored. Imprints of past traumas do not mean a person cannot change their future beliefs and behaviors. as people, we do not easily forget. However, as we heal, grieve, and let go, we become clear-minded and focused to live restore and emotionally healthy.” ~ Dee Brown

If you a survivor or someone who loves a survivor and cannot find a therapist who treats complex post-traumatic stress disorder, please, contact CPTSD Foundation. We have a staff of volunteers who have been compiling a list of providers who treat CPTSD. They would be happy to give you more ideas about where to look for and find a therapist to help you.

Are you a therapist who treats CPTSD? Please, consider dropping us a line to add you to our growing list of providers. You would get aid in finding clients, and you would be helping someone find the peace they deserve.

Shortly, CPTSD Foundation will have compiled a long list of providers who treat complex post-traumatic stress disorder. When it becomes available, we will be putting it on our website www.CPTSDFoundation.org.

Make sure to visit us and sign up for our weekly newsletter to help keep you informed on treatment options and much more for complex post-traumatic stress disorder.

If you or a loved one live in the despair and isolation that comes with complex post-traumatic stress disorder, please, come to us for help. CPTSD Foundation offers a wide range of services, including:

 

Free Winter Holiday Support 2020

 60 Days of CPTSD Strategies 

One email a day to help you through the holidays!

  • Does the thought of the upcoming holiday season cause you anxiety?
  • Could you use some help with healthy boundaries, self-care, and making your healing a priority, amidst the chaos?
  • Maybe you could just use some extra encouragement during the upcoming holiday season?
  • Would a single email per day, containing a video, audio, inspiring quote, or encouraging thought, be something you would find helpful?

If you answered “YES” to any of these questions, then why not join us for Winter Holiday Support?

The Healing Book Club

Today, CPTSD Foundation would like to invite you to our healing book club, reading a new book that began in September. The title of the latest featured book is The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk.

Led by Sabra Cain, the healing book club is only $7 per month, the fee going towards scholarships for those who cannot afford access to materials offered by CPTSD Foundation.

Should you decide to join the Healing Book Club, please purchase your books through our Amazon link to help us help you.

All our services are reasonably priced, and some are even free. So, to gain more insight into how complex post-traumatic stress disorder is altering your life and how you can overcome it, sign-up, we will be glad to help you.  If you cannot afford to pay, go to www.cptsdfoundation.org/scholarship to apply for aid. We only wish to serve you.

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