Beyond Calm: The Deep Healing Essence of True Self-Regulation
In the realm of well-being and healing, the term “self-regulation” often conjures images of calm and serenity. However, the depth of self-regulation extends far beyond the tranquil surface it might suggest. In this exploration, we delve into the profound...
Denial – A Sign of a Toxic Family System
Denial was a key component of my toxic family system. I could feel that big fat elephant in the middle of the living room. Most often, I chose to tip-toe around it. As an empath, I could clearly feel the tangible reality of the insidious storyline the denial would...
Lost & Found: (Re) Claiming Emotional Vibrancy Lost with CPTSD
In adapting to the circumstances of growing up with relational trauma, most of us had to give up our innate sense of personal power or sovereignty Generally, this meant having to forfeit our agency, vibrancy, energy, or creativity. Most of all, it meant no one was...
Obedience to the Light – Bombs or Love
Obedience to the light, the authentic self-image felt from deep within, a calling. It is set against an illuminating seductive “delusion” developing, in a lifelong desperate striving to succeed, to become the ace in a gambler’s magic deck of cards… the false...
Breaking Up With Lazy
In the therapy room, there’s a four-letter word that creates unease in my nervous system every time I hear it: “lazy.” Working with trauma survivors, I witness the fallout of abusive and neglectful households, and the last thing I want to hear is my...
Don’t Talk, Don’t Think, Don’t Feel
What does CPTSD feel like? Although Complex PTSD is different for everyone, these are some examples of what it feels like when having a flashback: Imagine jumping out of bed screaming at 3 AM, wide-eyed, terrified, with no idea where you are. Imagine always having one...
Clinical Observations from an Estrangement Clinician
I am an estrangement clinician primarily working with parents who are estranged from their adult sons or daughters. My lived experience as an estranged parent is a far greater credential than my degree in psychology and my training as a life coach combined. Like many...
Avoiding Loneliness
“I’m lonely. And I’m lonely in some horribly deep way and for a flash of an instant, I can see just how lonely, and how deep this feeling runs. And it scares the shit out of me to be this lonely because it seems catastrophic.”― Augusten Burroughs,...