Growing up in a dysfunctional home, many who have developed complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD) did not have the emotional or physical support they needed from their parents.
Often, as children, survivors were left with an internal and eternal feeling of being unsafe because of the trauma they faced daily. This piece will focus on the importance of feeling safe, hypervigilance, and methods you can use to overcome feelings of doom.
The Importance of Feeling Safe
As children, survivors of complex trauma did not receive the reassurances we needed from our caregivers that they would be okay. Survivors gained a sense of hope and acceptance that they could still thrive no matter what life threw at them.
Feeling safe means not feeling that you will soon be involved in a nuclear war or fall off a cliff. Feeling safe means not feeling worried about being criticized by those around you. It is also the ability to develop and use a safe place in your mind that can be accessed in the presence of childhood trauma. That safe place is a natural device when we are born but is soon lost during abuse.
Feeling safe also means being full of self-assurance, lacking self-doubt, and emerging from childhood, feeling deeply that you deserve to live in a sane environment that brings you happiness.
Feeling wanted leads to feeling safe in the world. However, for many survivors, there was a bleak absence of love and security; therefore, they never felt safe and secure, let alone attached to their caregivers.
Without feeling safe, children cannot thrive, nor will they attach themselves to others outside the home. This leaves children isolated and in fear, which, if left untreated, can cause many mental health problems later in life.
Hypervigilance
Hypervigilance is a state of extreme alertness and makes a survivor who experiences it very sensitive to their environment. Hypervigilance causes a survivor of childhood trauma to feel unsafe and wait for another episode of trauma, even though the likelihood of anything bad happening today is unlikely.
Feeling hypervigilant is usually a symptom of mental health problems, including complex post-traumatic stress disorder, schizophrenia, anxiety disorders, and dissociative identity disorder. Being hypervigilant has adverse effects on the survivor’s life and can affect how they interact with others and how they view them. It may also cause paranoia as the survivor struggles with feeling unsafe.
The unsafe feeling isn’t something the survivor can shake on their own as it is their past and what happened there; they usually require professional help. Many indicators accompany hypervigilance, including physical, emotional, behavioral, and mental symptoms.
Physical symptoms of hypervigilance.
- Racing heartbeat
- Fast and shallow breathing
- Sweating
- Fatigue
- Exhaustion
Emotional symptoms of hypervigilance.
- Fear
- Panic
- Severe anxiety
- Persistent worrying
- Fear the judgment of others
- Judge others unfairly
- Emotional withdrawal
- Mood swings
- Emotional outbursts
Behavioral symptoms of hypervigilance.
- Feeling jumpy
- Having knee-jerk reactions
- Overacting to loud noises
- Overreaction to comments of others
Mental symptoms of hypervigilance.
- Paranoia
- Sleep problems
- Foggy brain
- Inability to concentrate
Hypervigilance is very uncomfortable and can interfere significantly with the survivor’s ability to interact appropriately with other people. An intimate relationship with a partner is complicated when you fear they might abandon or hurt you.
Triggers and Feeling Unsafe
People experiencing fear and hypervigilance don’t react appropriately to environmental triggers. These triggers cause the survivor to suddenly become filled with emotions that range from intense fear to rage.
Some common triggers for hypervigilant episodes are as follows.
- Feeling abandonment
- Feeling trapped
- Feeling judged
- Feeling unwelcome
- Hearing loud noises (yelling, arguing, and sudden noises)
- Anticipating pain or fear
- Feeling physical agony
- Reminders of the past trauma
- Feeling out of control
These powerful emotions mirror those the survivor felt when they were abused and mistreated by the adults in their lives.
Treatment Options for Always Feeling Unsafe
To treat hypervigilance, it is necessary for your doctor to first try to determine what is causing this phenomenon. The doctor’s treatments may differ from person to person depending on the cause of their experience of never feeling safe. Considering that you will need a referral to a therapist or psychiatrist is vital.
Medication. You may require medications if you have developed an anxiety disorder or another trauma-related illness, such as complex post-traumatic stress disorder or dissociative identity disorder. These medications include beta-blockers, antidepressants, or anti-anxiety medications.
Therapy. Therapy with a qualified therapist or other mental health professionals may be helpful and might be necessary if you wish to conquer not feeling safe. Here are a few of the therapy methods you might try.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT is an effective method to help treat anxiety. During a CBT session, you will talk about your traumatic past with your therapist, guiding the conversation. Your therapist can help you see what causes your lacking feeling safe and how you can deal with it.
Eye movement desensitization and processing (EMDR). EMDR combines eye movements with remembering and processing traumatic memories.
Traditional Talk Therapy. In this treatment, you will share your memories of what happened and work through them until they become unobtrusive and fade into the past where they belong.
Grounding Exercises. I’m a survivor of childhood trauma and have lived with hypervigilance all my life. Some days I feel terrified for no reason and like something terrible is about to happen. One exercise that helps me overcome the awful feelings of doom is to do grounding exercises.
Grounding exercises are things that bring you back to the present so that the flashbacks or feelings you experience from the past are less overwhelming.
When you feel like the world is about to end or something horrible will happen at any moment, it is critical to remind yourself where and when you are in the ‘now.’ Say your name, age, and where you are out loud to yourself.
You can also splash some water on your face. Another exercise might be to look around you and name all the objects in the room.
One cannot perform the first two grounding exercises mentioned above in front of other people or the office. However, you can take deep breaths through your nose and breathe slowly through pursed lips anytime and anywhere.
You can try several exercises to help ground yourself when hypervigilance strikes. I mostly use the deep breathing exercise, but I have also used the other two on the list above. After using them, I can feel my fight-or-flight instincts calming, and I can go about my day again.
Ending Our Time Together
Never feeling safe is a tragic consequence of childhood trauma. However, you do not need to remain victimized by this internal problem.
Through treatment, you may learn new and effective ways to cope with not feeling safe and the hypervigilance that accompanies it. However, when you are not in a therapy session, you can use the following tools:
- Pause before reacting
- Acknowledge your feeling and emotions
- Practice mindfulness
- Set healthy boundaries with yourself and others
Feeling unsafe always is exhausting and a real problem when forming relationships. Only through proper treatment can you escape the pain and suffering of hypervigilance.
Are you a therapist who treats CPTSD? Please consider dropping us a line to add you to our growing list of providers. You would get aid in finding clients and help someone find the peace they deserve. Go to the contact us page and send a note; our staff will respond quickly.
Shortly, CPTSD Foundation will have compiled a list of providers treating complex post-traumatic stress disorder. When it becomes available, we will put it on our website www.CPTSDFoundation.org.
Visit us and sign up for our weekly newsletter to help inform you about treatment options and much more for complex post-traumatic stress disorder.
The Healing Book Club
As of May 7th, 2022, the current book will be – “A Practical Guide to Complex PTSD: Compassionate Strategies to Begin Healing from Childhood Trauma.”
by Dr. Arielle Schwartz.
Here is an Excerpt –
Repetitive trauma during childhood can affect your emotional development, creating a ripple effect that carries into adulthood. Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD) is a physical and psychological response to these repeated traumatic events. A Practical Guide to Complex PTSD contains research-based strategies, tools, and support for individuals working to heal from their childhood trauma. You don’t have to be a prisoner of your past.
Learn the skills necessary to improve your physical and mental health with practical strategies taken from the most effective therapeutic methods, including cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), eye movement desensitization, and reprocessing (EMDR), and somatic psychology. When appropriately addressed, the wounds of your past no longer need to interfere with your ability to live a meaningful and satisfying life.
This book includes:
- Understand C-PTSD—Get an in-depth explanation of complex PTSD, including its symptoms, its treatment through various therapies, and more.
- Address the symptoms—Discover evidence-based strategies for healing the symptoms of complex PTSD, like avoidance, depression, emotional dysregulation, and hopelessness.
- Real stories—Relate to others’ experiences with complex PTSD with multiple real-life examples in each chapter.
Start letting go of the pain from your past—A Practical Guide to Complex PTSD can help show you how.
If you or a loved one live in the despair and isolation of complex post-traumatic stress disorder, please come to us for help. CPTSD Foundation offers a wide range of services, including:
- Daily Calls
- The Healing Book Club
- Support Groups
- Our Blog
- The Trauma-Informed Newsletter
- Daily Encouragement Texts
All our services are reasonably priced, and some are even free. So, sign-up to gain more insight into how complex post-traumatic stress disorder is altering your life and how you can overcome it; we will be glad to help you. If you cannot afford to pay, go to www.cptsdfoundation.org/scholarship to apply for aid. We only wish to serve you.
Mindfulness, Prayer, and Meditation Circle
Meditation can be an integral part of healing from trauma. Our 9-week self-study video course helps you integrate this fantastic grounding, centering, and focus method. Join the Mindfulness, Prayer, and Meditation Circle today.
The new Trauma-Informed Yoga program is happening! Check out our information page about this highly requested new program! #yoga #traumainformed #cptsd #mentalhealth #recovery #wellness https://cptsdfoundation.org/traumainformedyoga/
My name is Shirley Davis and I am a freelance writer with over 40-years- experience writing short stories and poetry. Living as I do among the corn and bean fields of Illinois (USA), working from home using the Internet has become the best way to communicate with the world. My interests are wide and varied. I love any kind of science and read several research papers per week to satisfy my curiosity. I have earned an Associate Degree in Psychology and enjoy writing books on the subjects that most interest me.
I feel strongly that I have cptsd. I am all alone and don’t know where to start with healing
There are two routes you can take. You can take advantage of the resources CPTSD Foundation offers and you can seek a therapist. These two options go hand in hand and if you cannot afford to pay, that’s fine. We have a scholarship. Shirley
I am in the same boat. Years of family abuse well into adulthood has complicated my trauma. I have been self isolating for several years now and have no one to trust. Could you tell me where I can find the information on your scholarships? My only income is SSDI. Thank you.
Here you go. I hope you find the help you need here. We strive to aid people on their journey.
https://cptsdfoundation.org/?s=scholarship
I have had trauma that I don’t understand for years. I was adopted and that messed up my identity issues then I was sexually molested when I was young and my parents sort of swept it under the rug. I struggled with drug addiction for about 10 years and recently got clean. But with all the coping skills I’ve learned and gained I’ve recently found my self back in my frozen stage just trapped in fear for no reason. I need help and don’t have the money to pay for therapy. I feel like I can’t breathe. I feel like I’m just done.
Please, seek help from a mental health professional. Look for someone with trauma-informed training. If you can’t find someone in your area, consider telehealth. Take care of yourself; we care about you. Shirley
Introduction
Hardly a two-year-old, the traumatized Ricardo faces a world no child should ever be exposed to. Imagine the abject terror that could carry a child to the brink of madness, a fear so consuming that he wet his pants at the sight of his abuser, forced to live in the same space, enduring the threat this stranger brought every time the dark-ringed eyes found him, helpless, unable to ward off the real monster in the room, daily a prisoner held in his crushing grasp, the unbearable mortal fear of death because he knew in the certainty that was what the man wanted, the tone of voice the imprint of horror. Words that intoned his fate yet to be learned. A child’s mind, the internal scream of injustice, at insane beatings ignored, forever scarred by the betrayal of his Mother sitting upright, avid, even excited in wide-eyed approval of every blow, every word spat upon him. Guttersnipe is the story of the root cause of a lifetime of C-PTSD, a boy born in 1956. The escape, the journey through the eye of the needle as Ricardo, after eleven years of painful physical abuse, all because of his mirror-like similarity to his father, the forces of dysfunction and injustice drive the child to become a street vagrant, a child runaway at twelve years old slipping into adulthood, the incredible journey of survival in Apartheid torn South Africa alone and ghosted by dysfunction, a witnessed and verified truth of a life lived with C-PTSD sixty-six years later. Pandora opened her box.
Hi Shirley, I’ve just read this post. It’s a great read as always. I posted a similar article recently of living through a magnifying glass. It’s about what it feels like to be in the hyper-state. I’ve struggled with this all my life and I use grounding techniques and writing.
I don’t understand this organization web design. Is it to help individuals or groups? I’m trying to find help for myself mental help issues. Please. Just let me know if this site is for individuals or something else so i can move on to look for help. This journey is enough to make you want to quit everything.
We write the blog to help anyone we can who are survivors of complex trauma, including you. We offer programs too. They do cost something but we also offer scholarships. Please, contact support for more information. Good luck on your journey. Shirley
Hi,
I am a senior with c-ptsd. And i really need help. Especially since Covid19. Have autoimmune problems. I have medicare insurance but healthcare since Covid19 has been difficult to get response. And, providers can be very hard to access. I have lost alot of hope.
I want to move, am a baby boomer.
Any ideas.