When You Love Someone Who Never Feels Good Enough: Understanding the Lasting Effects of Chronic Parental Criticism, Part 2
Loving an emotionally healthy partner Here is Part 1 of this series. If the adult child finds an emotionally healthy partner, they might feel uncomfortable because this person can challenge everything they learned about love. For the adult child, love was historically...
When Safety Feels Like a Trap
There is a strange thing that can happen when a trauma survivor finally reaches a quieter life. They do not relax; they wait. They wait for the phone call, the slammed door, the accusation, the shift in someone’s tone, the bill they forgot, the person...
“Can’t You Take A Joke?” How Small Things Can Lead to Existential Humiliation
Have you ever found yourself suddenly humiliated, yet forced to pretend otherwise in front of people? How covert narcissists intentionally do this to their targets while appearing perfectly innocent. I’m Embarrassed That I Exist Carter’s Story Carter had been...
8 Things Survivors Need to Stop Apologizing For | Part 4 | Changing
Healing changes your tolerance, relationships, and what you’re willing to accept. Growth is not betrayal. How have you changed through healing? Photo Credit: Unsplash Guest Post Disclaimer: This guest post is for educational and informational purposes only....
Why do you lose yourself in relationships? What is codependency?
The Silence That Takes You Away From Yourself Countless African households teach their children, from a very young age, to refrain from speaking. Phrases like “Just keep quiet,” or “Don’t cause trouble” echo through our lives, passed down as wisdom from those who came...
The Child Who Could Never Do Enough: Understanding the Lasting Effects of Chronic Parental Criticism, Part 1
The invisible wound When people think about childhood trauma, they might imagine bruises from physical abuse, scars on skin that remain red and thick, stories of children left alone to fend for themselves without food or comfort, or various forms of sexual assault....
The paradoxes of flourishing
I once dated a man with borderline personality disorder. At one point, he told me that it broke his heart to see what I was not, what I hadn’t become, how small my life was, how I had squandered my brains and looks. This unsolicited mourning of a fantastical me (a...
Menopausal Psychosis or a Call to Healing
It all started one night back in mid-July 2005 when I woke up to use the bathroom. Within minutes I began shaking so badly that I could hardly hold a glass of water. I was so terrified that I called 911. Not wanting to wake my sons, I decided not to have the...