Projecting the Shadow Self is Surreptitiously Seeing Our Darkness in Others
The shady perfection of a phoenix-like transformation * This article contains behavioral descriptions that correspond, or are largely similar to, behaviors that have spawned from long-term exposure to mental and physical abuse. When you have experienced this kind of...
Healing Shame When It’s a Cultural Norm
Inducing shame is endemic in so many of our cultures and is one reason why healing shame it is so very hard to accomplish. Recognizing how our cultures produce and support shame is the first step toward setting strong boundaries against it and showing ourselves and...For The Living Memory of Children
Life is a bundle of experiences. This bundle inevitably grows and finds its way into a story. Every story has its twists and turns, ongoing passages, and closed chapters. Sharing our stories opens our hearts and minds to another being. With receptivity, it brings...Self-Compassion and Childhood Trauma Recovery
Many people identify as having survived childhood abuse of some sort and, as a result, often lack self-compassion. Self-compassion is being kind and understanding with oneself instead of mercilessly criticizing and sitting in judgment of all your shortcomings. This...How ‘Obi-Wan Kenobi’ Proves the Power of Connection in Healing Trauma
Originally published on The Mighty. This whole writing is basically a massive spoiler for all things “Obi-Wan Kenobi” and “Star Wars” in general. Please note that I enjoy explaining such things in a slightly cavalier way, so don’t come at me with pitchforks if I don’t...Many LGBTQIA+ People May Have CPTSD Symptoms and Don’t Even Know
LGBTQIA+ stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer/Questioning (one’s sexual or gender identity), Intersex, and Asexual/Aromantic/Agender (LGBTQIA+ or Queer). “A 2016 review of research found 17% of LGB adults had attempted suicide during their...A Change of Affection – Part III How To Break A Trauma Bond
How to Break A Trauma Bond I could hear the yelling outside despite the fact that I was in the house with the door closed. My husband was on a cell phone with my trauma-bonded abuser. They weren’t on speaker either. I could still hear every word. Cultivated over many...
Scapegoated!
Scapegoated! (as published in The Friday Edition of HeartBalm Healing at https://heartbalm.substack.com) For the adult who blames themselves – who see things go wrong around them and perceives the familiar feelings of self-blame, guilt, shame, and “it’s my fault”...