When Emotional Distance is not Narcissism: Understanding the Quiet Adult Child
Families living with chronic instability often divide their children into roles that were never chosen. One child reacts loudly. Another reacts quietly. The loud one becomes the identified problem. The quiet one becomes the praised anomaly. The truth is less...
Not Driving Home for Holidays
Christmas, or other types of family reunions, can be tricky in the best of families. For survivors of childhood abuse, trekking home for the holidays is nothing short of a draining and re-traumatising return to the scene of the crime. It’s an exercise in appeasement...
15 Things To Do When Facing Uncertainty
Hey, how are you doing today? Are you having a good day or a “not so great day?” Do you feel valued right now? In a world where everything is falling apart around us, it’s hard to feel valued. There are too many layoffs and new staff being hired that need training....
Tips for Childhood Sexual Abuse (CSA) Survivors on Social Media
It’s not a great habit. Every morning, I grab my phone and do a quick scan of social media. One of the first images I saw yesterday shook me to the core. A small girl, face redacted, is being exploited. She was about the same age as I was when things started happening...
I Feel so Empty in the Moment
I have spent years struggling in Schools, from elementary to middle school, high school, and finally, many, far too many years at two-year colleges. I have several degrees from those junior colleges, so I am not an ignoramus, nor am I an intellectual; yet I often sit...
When Dysregulation is not what First Appears: Differentiating BPD, CPTSD with Attachment Dysregulation, Trauma-Bonded Anxious Attachment, Chronic Pain Identity, and Long-Term Instability
In clinical and forensic settings, I have observed evaluators confuse intensity with diagnosis. High emotional amplitude is persuasive. It pulls focus. It pressures the room. But intensity is not structure. Presentation is not etiology. If we fail to separate the...
I Do… A Wedding Story: How I started my wedding day alone - and gained a new family.
Say “I do…” Three little letters, two little words. It’s the simplest part of the day. But there’s nothing simple about the things that will remain unsaid. I do means I do know I could be hurt. But I’m ready to be healed with you. It means I do want to try. Even...
The Journey of Recovery – Why Some Heal Faster: Uncovering the Factors Behind PTSD Recovery
Like many of you, dear readers, I have had certain experiences that led to CPTSD. At one point in my life, my CPTSD had become so overwhelming that I struggled to speak and eat normally, and there were times when I would stutter as a result. Before I got the right...