What Your Family Didn’t Say Still Got Passed Down

What Your Family Didn’t Say Still Got Passed Down

There is a stubborn belief, especially in pull-yourself-up cultures, that if something did not happen directly to you, it should not affect you. People want to assume trauma stops with the person who first lived it. That is not how trauma works. Not biologically. Not...
Do I Tell Them? Sitting with the Weight of Sharing Your Story with Your Parents

Do I Tell Them? Sitting with the Weight of Sharing Your Story with Your Parents

There comes a point on the healing journey when the question doesn’t whisper. It roars. Do I tell my parents?Do they deserve to know what happened to me?Would they believe me?Would they hold it with care, or would it break me all over again? If you’re here, standing...
When Grief Has No Grave: Rebuilding After a Childhood You Never Got

When Grief Has No Grave: Rebuilding After a Childhood You Never Got

No one brings you a casserole when you’re grieving the childhood you didn’t have. There’s no funeral for the loss of safety or a sense of belonging. No sympathy cards arrive when the dreams you clung to slowly unravel. And no one tells you what to do when you...
What I’ve Learned About Trauma Survivors in My Quest to Demystify CPTSD

What I’ve Learned About Trauma Survivors in My Quest to Demystify CPTSD

After more than a decade of searching for answers within the traditional medical model, I found myself with more questions than when I started. Eventually, I realized that understanding Complex PTSD (CPTSD) and its intricacies required insights from those who truly...
Parenting Challenges for People with Complex Trauma: From Ferberizing My Baby to “Furberizing” My Puppy (A Personal Case Study)

Parenting Challenges for People with Complex Trauma: From Ferberizing My Baby to “Furberizing” My Puppy (A Personal Case Study)

On Valentine’s Day 2025, our 30th wedding anniversary, we celebrated by bringing home an 8-week-old labradoodle puppy. Thirty years together, and we’re still making questionable decisions… like starting all over with a dog infant. I dubbed her my “luvdoodle,” and we...