Finding the Ancestors: Learning from Intergenerational Trauma
Much has been written about intergenerational trauma and how epigenetics plays a role in who we become. Works by Mark Wolynn, Gabor Maté, and others have covered the topic from a neurobiological level, but reading Dr. Jennifer Mullan’s Decolonizing Therapy transformed...
Understanding Why Trauma Bonds Form and How to Break Them
Trauma is an emotional result of a distressing, shocking, or life-threatening incident. It is not the event itself that causes the trauma, but rather a person’s reaction to it. Half of U.S. adults will experience at least one traumatic event in their lifetimes. For...
When Breaking Free from an Abuser Feels Impossible
Examining extreme trauma bonds With the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), approximating that 41% of women and 26% of men have experienced sexual violence, physical violence, psychological aggression or stalking by an intimate partner during their...
Why “Forgive and Forget” is Bad Advice for Trauma Survivors
The phrase “forgive and forget” is a common slogan and recommendation. But does it make sense for trauma survivors? While researching for my book, You Don’t Need to Forgive: Trauma Recovery on Your Own Terms, I discovered that many trauma survivors, including myself,...
When Survival Is Your Safety
Honoring the Intelligence within Your Nervous System For those who have lived through high-stress childhoods and ongoing stress, survival is not just a response—it becomes a way of being, sometimes the only way you know how to exist without even realizing you may be...
Afraid To Be With others? Afraid to be Alone? All or Nothing
Do you isolate yourself from others and feel safer alone? Or are you afraid to be alone and choose to always be with company? It is likely that these behaviors are coping strategies you’ve developed, and today, I’d like to talk about why and what to do about them now...
Grounding Techniques That Helped Me Reconnect With My Body
My Struggle with Disconnection In October 2023, I was diagnosed with severe borderline personality disorder (BPD), which can be linked to complex trauma (CPTSD). For most people, getting diagnosed with a mental health disorder can be scary. But it offered me a moment...
When the Past Cracks Open: Navigating Repressed CSA Memories in Adulthood
For most of my life, I had no reason to question my past. I had warm childhood memories, a solid understanding of who I was, and no indication that something darker lurked beneath the surface. But then, seemingly out of nowhere, my mind cracked open, and pieces of a...