How to Choose the Right Kind of Friends

How to Choose the Right Kind of Friends

Survivors have been damaged by relationships and relationships are the pathway toward healing. What a terrible statement. The thing that did us so much harm is the thing we must have in order to get well. This is the dilemma for a survivor of trauma. In addition,...
Scapegoated!

Scapegoated!

Scapegoated!  (as published in The Friday Edition of HeartBalm Healing at https://heartbalm.substack.com) For the adult who blames themselves – who see things go wrong around them and perceives the familiar feelings of self-blame, guilt, shame, and “it’s my fault”...

A Change of Affection Part II – How A Trauma Bond is Formed

How A Trauma Bond is Formed Scaly grey snake heads with the dead black eyes of a reptile weaved back and forth. Bright red tongues darted to and fro. They covered the Uhaul. I couldn’t look away. Out on my daily walk with Tiny, the chihuahua, I pulled my wheelchair...
It Isn’t “Love Addiction”, It’s “Attachment Trauma”

It Isn’t “Love Addiction”, It’s “Attachment Trauma”

When a new relationship starts (actually, it doesn’t even need to start), we are overwhelmed with emotional flashbacks from younger “Inner Parts” desperate to be loved, protected, and supported. and other parts of us will do anything to appease these...